How To Get The Most Out Of Your 2016 Census Experience

It's about to get censusual.

Your breath hitches in your throat as you check the mail. It's here. It's finally here.

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While every bone in your body is screaming at you to tear into its eggshell exterior, this opportunity only comes every five years. And in this case, we've been waiting ten for the oh-so-satisfying long version.

You have to slow down.

You have to savour this.

First of all, get that census notice nice and comfy. It's travelled a long way to be with you.

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It's time to get relaxed, get in the mood. Try lighting some candles (a nice vanilla or lavender scent would suit) and draw a steamy bath.

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That bath is for you, not the notice. The notice is made of paper. That would just be silly.

Next, make yourself a little snack. Pour a little wine. You're not going anywhere tonight. It's just you, the census, and a quivering passion for civic duty.

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But remember, not too much wine. Failing to fill in the census or filling it in falsely is a crime. So let's keep it legal, babe.

When it's time — and you'll know when it's time — don't just rush in there ripping and tearing all willy-nilly. See where it says "fold and tear along the dotted line"? Let the census take the reigns.

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Finally — the big finale. Find your access code, the one made just for you, and head over to the Census website to input that bad boy.

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You might end up with the long form. You might end up with the short form. But either way, you're getting dat form.

Follow the instructions then pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

Was it good for you? Because it was good for your country.