21 Lies All New Englanders Tell To Save Face
"Snow in April? Bring it on!"
A huge part of being from New England is being WICKED PROUD that you're from New England.
But sometimes, that pride requires a little extra embellishment.
1. "More snow? PSH, I LIVE FOR SNOW. I CAN HANDLE IT."
2. "I could shovel for days."
3. "Dunkin Donuts is WAY better than Krispy Kreme."
...if we're talking coffee, but Dunkin's doughnuts pale in comparison, we add silently in our heads.
4. "Of course I've walked the Freedom Trail, you haven't?"
5. "I'll only eat grade-A 100% pure maple syrup from Vermont."
That pledge goes out the window the minute we step into an IHOP.
6. "Sam Adams is hands down my favorite beer."
7. "I'm from Boston."
8. "It's called a rotary."
It is, but we've all caught ourselves using the more logical term "traffic circle" in mixed company.
10. "Psh, we're not ALL crazy drivers. We're just determined."
LOL NOPE. We are mad aggressive, get used to it.
11. "Halloween in Salem is not even scary."
We're just trying to repress the childhood memories of our first haunted house. *shivers*
12. "The ocean isn't that cold, guys."
Yes. Yes, it is. Our tough New England skin just doesn't register it anymore.
13. "Hey, lay off Brady! The UGG adds weren't that bad."
14. "I just totally saw Ben Affleck and/or Matt Damon!"
Some of us have! Most of us haven't.
15. "I've tried every flavor of Ben & Jerry's."
As much as we wish this were true, many were laid to rest long before we became true connoisseurs. 😭
16. "I don't need a map, I know my way around."
New England roads are notoriously nonsensical, but we still believe we should be able to read the minds of 18th-century city planners.
17. "Ugh, the Freepoint outlets are way too touristy."
19. "Of course I know how to ski!"
20. "I absolutely know how to cook a lobstah."
21. "I knew they would win!"
No New England sports team can ever be relied upon, but that's half the fun!