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19 Signs Kids Aren't Really Your Thing

*hears crying baby, hides under covers*

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1. You've never really enjoyed being around kids. You didn't even like kids when you were one.


2. And now that you're no longer a kid, you're still pretty open in your dislike.

It just comes out!!

3. You connected with Miss Trunchbull from Matilda more than you'd like to admit.

She's just kinda...misunderstood.

4. Even though you know some people love kids and want some of their own, it never ceases to freak you out when people your age start popping them out.

I support you and also question your sanity at the same time.

5. You really, really value your peace and quiet.

And really, really don't want it disrupted by the sounds of children.

6. You go into panic mode when someone asks you to hold their baby.


7. You have your own definition for the term "baby."

8. You find that you generally prefer animals of any kind to children.

They're just, you know...better.

9. When you hear kids screaming in public you feel like you should actually be the one screaming.

Babies don't even have any stress, you know???

10. You feel personally attacked when babies stare at you.

Yeah, yeah, we know, it's cute or whatever.

11. You would totally have children if children weren't the bane of your existence!

12. And honestly, you not liking kids that much is for the best because you're not exactly *good* with kids.

You have no idea what to say to them.

13. All of your friends are well aware of your "situation."

Situation = you avoiding kids at all cost.

14. It seems like people with children are literally everywhere and you cannot escape.



15. And because of that, grocery shopping is your new personal hell.

16. Halloween is pretty much your least favorite holiday.

*leaves the candy on the porch*

17. Children have made you feel personally victimized on more than one occasion.

Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by a baby.

18. You find it incredibly difficult to get excited about things children do.

Which isn't to say everything you do is so exciting!!! It's just that it's not a kid doing it.

19. And it's not that you don't understand why people want kids and genuinely enjoy their company — it's just that you don't.

And that's OK.

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