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I Re-Created Kylie Jenner's Instagrams And It Was Not Very Fun

Call me Lylie.

Like most people with access to the internet, I have seen Kylie Jenner's Instagrams. I even started following her this year! And like most people who have seen them, I am fascinated by her life.

It's not that I want to BE Kylie, it's just that she has this life that most people only dream of. And she showcases it all... on Instagram!

But I also know that this life cannot be possibly be that attainable to the average mortal aka ME. So in an effort to see just how manufactured or posed her life on Instagram was, I RE-CREATED THEM.

The "Here's My Body, I Don't Actually Lie Like This" Pose

Kylie Jenner / Lara Parker

OK, first things first, I do not live in a house or an apartment complex that has a pool. I WISH I DID. I had to put out a group message at work and ask if anyone had a pool. Luckily, my co-worker's parents had one. So I had to schedule out a day and a time to go to my FRIEND'S PARENT'S HOUSE and lie in a bikini trying to look sexy and whatever. Also, this was my first time meeting my friend's parents. Also, no one lies like this. This was so weird and when I posted it on Instagram I was positive everyone would text me and tell me to go to the hospital or something because I've completely lost it. But looking back, like it's just a picture of me in a bikini. Who the hell cares? Also, looking at my picture next to Kylie's makes me not like how my stomach looks and that pisses me off. Whatever, Kylie.

The "Bathing Suit On Concrete Even Though You Own Lounge Chairs" Pose

Kylie Jenner/ Lara Parker

Not only did I take my first picture at my friend's parent's pool, I also took this one there! My friend's parents were going somewhere that day and were only home for 30 more minutes. So to get this picture, I had to change outfits in between and run outside to pose my body. I was rushed! This pose was pretty difficult to re-create. I'm not sure if you've ever laid on concrete while arching your back before, but I'm here to tell you that it's not that comfortable. I would much prefer a lounge chair. I have quite literally no idea why I would ever pose like this again. Also, Kylie is short. I am not. It's fine.

The "Not So Obvious, But Also Obvious, Ad" Pose

Kylie Jenner / Lara Parker

THIS WAS BY FAR THE WORST ONE TO DO. I talk a lot about my endometriosis and other medical conditions on Instagram, and I couldn't think of any other way to promote a vitamin. I added the hashtag #ThisIsNotReal because I was so worried that people would buy these vitamins and get sick or something. And when I got a comment asking if these actually DID make your period better I felt sick to my stomach. While these are vitamins and I don't think they could actually cause anyone damage, I still started sweating under my armpits a lot. I responded and told everyone not to believe me and contemplated deleting this picture for a solid seven days. It's so terrifying how much impact holding a bottle of pills and saying you use it can have on young followers. PLEASE DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING I SAY, EVER AGAIN.

The "Why Am I Lying On My Couch Like This?" Pose

Kylie Jenner / Lara Parker

Oh my god. OK. So. I have to be honest with you guys about something. My mother took this picture. I will let that sink in. And now I will move on. My mother was visiting and I needed to re-create this classic couch pose and I could not do it myself. I only had a weird pair of underwear that said "flawless" that I bought for $1.99 on sale at Forever 21 once. I don't know what the point of this picture is or why anyone would ever lie on their couch like this, but whatever, my legs look good.

Also, my boyfriend shamed me when he found out my mom took this pic of me.

Lara Parker


The "This Looks Easy But My Arm Might Fall Off" Pose

Kylie Jenner / Lara Parker

I thought this pose would be the easiest one, by far. SPOILER ALERT: I was wrong. I'm not going to sit here and act like trying to pose like Kylie was one of the hardest parts of my life or anything, but it wasn't... easy? She, like any talented teen, makes her poses look effortless. But it took me at least 17 tries to master this pose and I didn't even nail it. But by that time I was tired of trying to hold my arm like that and take a picture and make some sort of sexy face at the same time. I just wanted to lie down and watch TV. So I did.

The "Literally No One Stands Naturally Like This" Pose

Kylie Jenner / Lara Parker

OK, it is once again confession time. My mother also took this picture. So sue me. This was the picture that made me the MOST uncomfortable. You would think it would be the one where I'm literally in a bathing suit, but no. It's this one. The one where I'm sticking my non-existent ass into the air in my not-so-clean bathroom for some reason. Another confession: I had to borrow this sweater from my mother. All of this is awful. I hate this picture. I hate this pose. I hate my flat butt in this pose. I do like my shower curtain though, and if you're wondering, it's from Target.

Things I Learned:

# Obviously Kylie has someone helping her pose.

# And helping her do her makeup.

# And her hair.

# And I do not.

# Doing anything that she does in my semi-average life felt insane.

# I've never felt so insecure on Instagram before.

# I will be thankful to return to my hand-on-the-hip pose after this experience.

# My mom takes pretty decent pictures of me. Thanks mom.

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