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21 Very Real Things Only Insomniacs Deal With

Current mood: tired.

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1. It doesn't matter how early you lie down, some nights your body just refuses to sleep.

Your body is tired but your mind is wide awake.

2. You are convinced that if there was a way to turn your brain off for a night you'd be 1,000x times happier.

Dear brain,

Please STFU.

Love, me.

3. At any given time you feel like you could break down and cry and you don't know why until you remember that you DO NOT SLEEP.


4. You've pretty much followed any piece of advice on how to fall asleep that anyone has ever given you, ever.

Someday it might work?

5. And if there's a product that is supposed to help you sleep, you've tried it.

At this point, your insurance should really cover it.

6. It's hard for you to not feel betrayed when you're sleeping next to someone and they fall asleep hours before you do.

Lonely party of one.

7. Some of your best cooking has happened in the middle of the night when no one is around to witness it.

Your stomach doesn't sleep either.

8. You feel personally offended when your eyes suddenly want to close as soon as it is time to get out of bed.


9. You now talk about how much sleep you get in minutes instead of hours.

It's more accurate that way.

10. You'll never understand how you nap so easily during the day but lie awake for hours at night.

Come on brain, work with me here.

11. It is very, very difficult for you to speak to anyone before 11 a.m.

Or anytime really, because you're tired.

12. Coffee has essentially become your best friend.

Coffee, will you marry me?

13. People are always telling you to try Nyquil and ZzzQuil and you're like, "Duh."

Been there, done that.

14. Your friends get annoyed because there's rarely a morning when they don't wake up to a Snapchat you sent them at 4 a.m. when you couldn't sleep.

Is anyone else awake? It's me, the insomniac.

15. You get unreasonably excited when someone else is awake during the night when you are.



16. There's never a time when you're NOT tired.

You haven't had a good night's sleep since 1999.

17. And you've learned to embrace the dark circles under your eyes.

The bags under your eyes are like basically Prada.

18. Every single night you go through the math in your head of how much sleep you would get if only you could fall asleep.

I could get seven hours of sleep if I went to bed RIGHT NOW, but we all know that I won't.

19. And quite frankly, one alarm in the morning just isn't going to get you out of bed.

You need several.

20. Even your Netflix account thinks you need more sleep.

Yes, it's 4 a.m. and I'm still watching.

21. Ultimately, you just want some freaking sleep.


But always remember, you aren't alone.

Insomniacs unite!!! ... at 5 a.m.

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