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    59 Thoughts Every LGBT Student Has Before Mardi Gras


    1. It's Mardi Gras this weekend.

    2. This weekend!

    3. Jeez, that's come around quickly.

    4. I have to take the night off work.

    5. FUCK.

    6. Can't believe I forgot to ask for it off.

    7. I'm such a bad queer.

    8. Will they let me?

    9. Eh, I'm sure it'll be fine.

    10. I can always chuck a sickie.

    11. Wonder if it'll rain this year.

    12. It's Fred Nile that always prays for rain, right?

    13. I think it's Fred Nile.

    14. Is Fred Nile even still alive?

    15. *Googles Fred Nile*

    16. Yep.

    17. I hope it doesn't rain.

    18. I'll take a poncho.

    19. Or a garbage bag with holes, let's be real.

    20. What will I wear?

    21. Do I still have those shorts?

    22. ...Katie still has them.

    23. What about that shir... nope.

    24. Shit, I'll have to go shopping.

    25. *Opens wallet*

    26. Arrrrrggghhh.

    27. *closes wallet*

    28. Aaaaarrrrrggggggghhhhh.

    29. DIY?

    30. DIY costumes rarely go well...

    31. I don't REALLY have a choice.

    32. I can paint a rainbow on my shirt?

    33. Or dye it pink? Or purple?

    34. Or any fucking colour, really.

    35. Glitter.

    36. Glitter!


    38. *overturns room*

    39. Glitter's a cliche.

    40. I don't need glitter.

    41. Oh, here's a rainbow flag!

    42. I can put this around my shoulders.

    43. Problem solved.

    44. I look so fucking gay.

    45. Perfect.

    46. Now, to find last year's rainbow face paint...

    47. Wait.

    48. Will my Fair Day sunburn stop peeling by Saturday?

    49. Shit.

    50. What if it doesn't?

    51. *Googles how to stop sunburn peeling*

    52. I... I guess I'll take an oatmeal bath.

    53. Is that weird?

    54. Well, it is Mardi Gras.

    55. I wonder if my mum will see me on TV.

    56. Nah, no one watches SBS.

    57. Plus, the parade's way too crowded.

    58. I still can't believe it's this weekend.

    59. Time for Gay Christmas!