The Definitive Ranking Of Popular Dog Names

This is it: the truth, unwavering and infinite.

10. Charlie

Charlie, while sweet, is just a human name thrust upon a vaguely sentient creature who doesn't even have opposable thumbs.

9. Lucky

Charlie is to "just a human name" as Lucky is to "just a word." Sure, it's a fun word, and yes, that word did inspire one of the best midtempo pop ballads of the past seven decades, but the name just leaves too much to be desired in the way of creativity.

8. Rocky

Too scary!

7. Coco

A European-inspired moniker for a dog who, let's be honest, probably lives walking distance from a mini-mall in New Jersey.

6. Max

Max deserves some credit because Max is 100% the name of a dog who will save you from a well. If you have a dog and that dog's name is Max, I can guarantee you two things: 1) You will fall into a well at some point in the near to distant future, and 2) your dog Max is going to rescue you from it.

5. Cooper

Cooper is a great name for a dog because of all the nicknames it stands to inspire. We're talking everything from the obvious "Coop" and "Co-op" to the more ahead-of-its-time "Cooties" and "Pooper." With a Coop, you're only limited by your own fear of the unknown.

4. Daisy

Daisy is a dog name that when you hear it, it makes your face go all "😌😌😌." Do you know what I'm saying? Daisy is a sweetheart. Daisy's singular hobby is to gently awake from her nap in the sunroom at 4 p.m., lazily meander her way to your location, and plop down on the floor beside your legs to rest her .0009-pound chin on your house slippers.

3. Princess

Oh, I know people are going to be peeved to see Princess so high on this list, and that's exactly why she comes in at number freaking three. Haters can say all they want about a dog named Princess and you know what? That queen remains unbothered. Why? Because she's royalty, and she knows it.

2. Buddy

Buddy is just a classic. Not classic in the way of Grandpa's "classic" perception of PC culture, but more like the timelessness of s'mores or that universally relaxing feeling of an empty elevator ride. Buddy is just synonymous with simplicity and joy.

1. Bailey

Ah, Bailey. What is there to say about a Bailey that hasn't already been said? Bailey is the first sock you yank off your aching, bunioned foot at the end of a nine-hour workday... Bailey is a smooth green avocado, perfectly ripe at the exact moment you need it to be... Bailey is sun on your wedding day... Bailey is...an icon.

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