11 Universal Truths About Being An RA

Oh good, the duty phone's ringtone is Cher..again.

1. Things are about to get really weird.

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One time I got a text from www.anonymoustext.com that read "Someone puked on Martin 2nd floor."

Thank you for the anonymous tip??

2. Your residents do stupid, stupid things.

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Why are you drinking a margarita out of a red solo cup on a Monday night? IT'S MONDAY.

3. You try to assert yourself as ~the law~

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4. ... But sometimes you're so, so tired. Why can't y'all do illegal things QUIETLY?

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I REALLY JUST WANT TO WATCH THESE REESE WITHERSPOON MOVIE AND POSSIBLY CALL MY MOM AND CRY IN PEACE.

5. Your [good] friends are like "Gurl you alive?"

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...and really the only other place you've been is the library.

6. Some of your residents will hate you from day one.

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GOD ALL I DID WAS ASK IF YOU WANTED TO BAKE COOKIES FOR FREE

7. R.I.P. your social life

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THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE GONE OUT IN THREE MONTHS, WHY IS THE 17-YEAR-OLD WHO I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR AT THIS BAR?

8. Drinking will never be the same.

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I feel like I'm being judged. WHY DOES EVERYONE SEEM DISAPPOINTED IN ME?

9. You've started calling that guy you documented shadow because you now see him IN ALL PLACES.

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I'm transferring.

10. Your AC is all "Step it up."

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LOL I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN 36 HOURS.

11. You've adopted the "Not my resident, NOT MY PROBLEMMMMMM" philosophy.

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This is me, driving away from you and everything you are doing.