28 Things You're Only Afraid Of If You Live In Chicago
What do you mean they "forgot" where they towed my car?!
Spending two hours digging out a parking space, only to have someone else take it from you.
Derrick Rose never playing basketball again.
This happening to you on the L:
Being stranded on Lakeshore Drive during a blizzard.
Being in line behind tourists at The Wiener Circle.
That one of these cars is going to back up too hard one of these days.
That the weather you dress for when you wake up will not be the weather it is by 11:30 a.m.
Icicles falling onto your head off of high-rise buildings.
Being charged more than $3 for a PBR.
Being anywhere near the river crowds on St. Patrick's Day.
Ruthless gangs of pigeons, who are probably coming for you.
That every Chicago politician is even more corrupt than we think they are.
Accidentally ending up in Grant Park during festival season.
Having a dog who absolutely hates the snow and refuses to walk in it.
Cubs fans who have been drinking for longer than 10 innings.
Getting your hopes up about the Chicago Bears' quarterback.
Anyone ever referring to you as a Lincoln Park Trixie or Chad.
Being on your way to somewhere professional, and finding yourself ass-first in some black ice.
Coming back to your car to see that horrible yellow boot on it.
Or having your car towed to some random place because there's a public works project going on and they "forgot" to put up signs.
Having problems with your Ventra card if there's anywhere you need to be in a hurry.
That your doorknob will freeze. FROM THE INSIDE.
Construction happening on both the Kennedy AND the Dan Ryan. At the same time.
Wrigleyville whenever any Chicago team wins anything.
Parking your car somewhere overnight, and coming out to find it like this:
That you will accidentally put away all your snow gear for the season, and then you will suddenly need it again. IN MAY.
And the Packers winning the Super Bowl.
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