We live in an amazing time. If you are one of the many women who must deal with your button-down shirts gapping at your boobs, there are lots of fantastic solutions out there. Which is great, if you are a competent adult.
...but, um, what if you're not?
Hi, my name is Kristin, and I suffer from chronic shirt gapping. Unfortunately, I am also a trash monster at DIY stuff and too messy of an eater to be trusted with any expensively tailored shirts.
Pictured: A person who dropped a sock in the toilet this morning.
So, for all the ladies out there who are either lazy or strapped for cash, I decided to test out four lo-fi, easy shirt-gapping solutions:
Then, I rated them all based on how easy they were to use and how well they were able to keep my shirt together during the course of my day.
First, for the sake of comparison, I tried out the original: regular ol' safety pins.
Here's how the regular safety pin held up:
Did it hold my shirt together? Look, I don't need to tell you that safety pins work. It's the safety school of tailoring options: It will always be there for you.
But I was surprised by how relatively unnoticeable my safety pin was, even though I did a terrible job at pinning it. So, if you're ever worried about whether or not anyone can see your safety pin on your flannel shirt, think back to how you probably had to hunt trying to find mine, and relax.
Did it hold up all day? Yeah, it's a safety pin — it's not going anywhere.
In a pinch, safety pins are a pretty safe bet, and not as noticeable you'd think.
Next, I tried out special safety pins that are designed so that you can pin your shirt together without the pin being visible. This is probably why each pin is $5.
Even after three tries, I couldn't get the Pinx pins to really hold my shirt together.
Did it hold my shirt together? Only when I'm not doing anything with my arms, so not really.
Did it last throughout the day? Yes, it continued to not hold my shirt together for the duration of the day.
I wanted to give Pinx the benefit of the doubt and attempted to pin my shirt for the fourth time, and, uh, this is what happened:
Next, I tried some sticky back Velcro tape for fabric!
You're supposed to let it set for 24 hours, so I of course let it set for about 30 seconds. AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!
Did it hold my shirt together? You bet your sweet bananas it did!
Did it last throughout the day? Dude, yes, it was crazy! I was asking people basically all day if a) anything was holding together my shirt and b) if they could see what was holding it together. Literally no one could tell that anything was there, let alone Velcro!
If you really stare, you can tell it's slightly curved, because I stuck the velcro on there while I was wearing the shirt (maybe don't do that) but no one is paying that close attention, and let's take our lazy victories where we can.
GIVE IT UP FOR STICKY BACK VELCRO, Y'ALL.
Finally, I wanted to try a sticky substance that was a a bit cheaper and less permanent:
Hollywood Fashion Tape worked pretty well at first, even under the strain of stretching my arms out:
Did it hold my shirt together? Yes, for a hot 10 minutes, I was definitely on Team Fashion Tape.
However, the fashion tape didn't hold up very well over time:
So, unless you're feeling brave, fashion tape is not the solution for you:
The winner: STICKY BACK VELCRO!
Second place goes to safety pins, which deserve credit for their long and tireless years of service. Thank you, safety pins, but I'm afraid it's time for me to move on from you. I'm an adult now. I USE VELCRO.