Skip To Content
    Sep 21, 2016

    I'm A Bride Whose Hair Is A Jerk, And I Found 3 Hairstyles Even I Couldn't Ruin

    Perfect if you are great at destroying things!

    by ,
    Macey J. Foronda / Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

    Hi, I'm Kristin. I'm getting married, and it has recently occurred to me that my hair will also be attending my wedding.

    Presumably, if my hair remembers to RSVP.

    Unfortunately, my hair is very fine in texture, which means even when it's done up... it falls quickly, like a very sad hair soufflé.

    Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed

    Ugh. And even this was after implementing my last-ditch trick, the Extreme Side Part.

    So, with the help of the girls of Ladylike, I tried three hairstyles in order to find some wedding hair that could stand up to some serious abuse.

    View this video on YouTube

    In addition to seeing how each hairstyle looks in a veil, we also tested to see how they'd all deal with wind exposure and a sweat-breaking amount of dancing.

    Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

    For this updo, my hair was curled and sprayed in the front, and then pulled into a horizontal bun in the back (sort of like a sausage).

    Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed

    No, this is not actually my wedding dress, LOL.

    This updo took the second longest of the three: approximately 36 minutes.

    Macey J. Foronda/BuzzFeed

    I thought this hairstyle was a good choice for people who A) love to roll around in vintage stuff as much as I do, and B) want a hairstyle that is literally going nowhere until the next Olympics. This is both good and bad: There is so much structure here that at time I felt like I was my own vice principal.

    But this thing stays: I had doubts about that sweepy bang in the front, but thanks to the blessed miracle of St. Hairspray, this is a wedding helmet.

    For the wind test, I posed for pictures for a few minutes directly in front of a fan. This should tell you how shellacked this hairstyle was, because you would not have even known about the fan had I not mentioned it.


    I promise there is a fan there.

    Since this hair appeared up for a challenged, I went into full "I Regret Everything" drunk-dance mode, and managed to make the little bun part in the back move.


    I dance like a person who looked up rhythm in the dictionary approximately five minutes ago, so it was important to simulate this, and I kept going until I got sweaty enough where I could see a situation in which I might be able to melt my hairspray or fall in a toilet from dizziness or any other sort of moisture-related mishap.

    The back part was the only part that moved, but it looked pretty much the same afterward.

    Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed

    Overall: I was impressed with this hairstyle's durability, but my general aesthetic is less President of the First National Perfect Lady Bank and more like that of a girl who consistently only owns one sock no matter how many she buys. So, this hairstyle is great if you are a person who prefers structure over only ever owning one sock.

    Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

    For this hairstyle, my hair was crimped at the roots (for volume). Then, a bunch of finger waves were put in, and then the whole thing was sprayed to high heaven — at the crown of my head, especially.

    Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed

    Here I am, National Chairwoman of Stealing Your Man.

    This updo took the LONGEST of the three: approximately 40 minutes.

    Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed

    I thought this hairstyle was good if you are a human who just needs to wear your hair down, but are worried that your hair will eventually end up looking like a mop someone pulled out of a pool. It's also probably good if you are hair-accessories bride rather than a veil bride (but also works if you are both). The one major downside to this hairstyle is that it IS warmer than the others, so sticking a beloved bridesmaid on fanning duty isn't a terrible idea. So good for your hair, bad for your friend.

    During the wind test, this hairstyle mostly just tumbles around the parts that have been shellacked to my head.



    During the dance test, all the hair near my head stayed put and the rest of it whipped around.


    It does get sweatier faster near your neck, but the hairspray up top is doing so much work it doesn't really matter.

    And here's how it looked after the wind and some sweat. Somehow it manages to look even better after the hell I put it through, which is baffling, but I'll take it.

    Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed

    I'm guessing on a long enough time line (and enough humidity), this hair will melt a little bit, but part of the melting is that the front part melts into a sweepy bang, so that's not too bad. Overall, this hairstyle is good if you really aren't an updo person, but are afraid of wearing your hair down. It's possible!

    Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

    For this hairstyle, the bottoms of my hair were curled, my hair was side-swept, and everything was pinned at the base of my head.

    Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed

    This was the fastest of the updos, clocking in at about 30 minutes from start to finish.

    Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed, Macey J. Foronda/BuzzFeed

    I thought this updo was a nice happy medium between the first and the second hairstyle: not too pulled together, but has enough structure where you don't have to worry about Hair Melt. There's also a lot of flexibility here: A second after this last photo was taken, the stylist decided to pin up that little middle tendril, so it can be as messy or as clean as you want.

    The wind test mostly just pushed around my little hair tendrill.


    For the dance test, I was sure to put the army of bobby pins to work, as I was pretty sure I could get this one to come loose if I tried really hard and believed in myself.


    And here's how the parts that moved looked afterward: The only change I really noted was that the little tendril near my right ear got a little droopier.

    Macey J. Foronda/BuzzFeed

    And it looks like there's a little stray wisp coming out the back? I don't mind having a hair balloon on my head. Overall, this hairstyle sort of comes out of the package looking a little ~messy~, so a little more messiness actually suits — it's good if you already prefer to go in with a sweepy bang.

    So, while I went into this thinking that one (if not all) of these hairstyles would wilt under the pressure of dancing and head-banging, I was pleasantly surprised to find that all of them held up pretty well!

    And I also learned a lot about finding the ideal wedding hair:

    Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

    * Have someone take pictures of yourself from all angles — including the sides. ESPECIALLY the sides.

    * If you're especially worried about humidity, take your hair home and stand in the bathroom while your significant other showers. While this is an extreme humidity simulation, keep in mind you'll also be dancing at some point, so if you hair wilts after 10 minutes of heat, you may want to keep that in mind.

    * Bring the veil to your hair trial if you have it — not only is it good for the person to practice putting your veil in your hair, the veil definitely changes the look.

    * Don't feel pressured to wear your hair up if wearing your hair up is not you. Wear your hair how YOU would wear it, or I will come and find you and give you a stern lecture about being yourself.

    * If you come a hair stylist someone with a specific photo, don't get discouraged if your hair style doesn't look ~exactly the same~. Think of hairstyle as a unique adaptation on an old story. Be kind to yourself!

    All products used were provided free of change by Pravana, and the styling was provided free of charge by Lara C. Kay.

    For more BuzzFeed Kristin, like her Facebook page!