Recently, I asked the BuzzFeed Community what they think is the most ridiculous beauty standard in today's society.
Here are 21 of their top responses:
1. "OMG, I’ve got SO many…but one that bugs me right now is the 'clean girl' look that actually requires a LOT of make-up and personal care to maintain. I have blotchy skin and still break out sometimes. I’m over 30. My skin is NOT going to look 'dewy' and 'clean' without concealer and powder. I’ve heard WAY too many men talk about how they just want an 'ordinary' girl who looks 'natural.' Sorry, but Hailey Bieber does NOT just wake up looking that way. It’s a toxic trend that promotes the idea that women are supposed to look perfect naturally."
"Well before the 'clean girl' aesthetic, I remember my college freshman year roommate told me that when she got married, she planned to always wake up a few hours before her husband to do her hair and makeup so that he never saw her looking 'messy.'
At the time (I was 18), I thought that sounded like a good idea. I’m older now and I’ve been with my partner for a long time, and I frankly don’t CARE what he thinks of how I look in the morning. I know I generally look like 10 miles of bad road, but so does he when he wakes up! I don’t have any 'natural beauty' at 8 a.m. when I can barely get my eyes open. While I wear make-up and like to wear it, I don’t like the idea about what women are naturally 'supposed' to look like all the time. If you’re into the clean girl trend, fine, but don’t pretend that look happens without a LOT of preparation."
2. "This is something that is more popular amongst young teens and unfortunately preteens. The trend of mewing — if you don’t know, it's where you place your tongue on the roof of your mouth, and supposedly, if you do it long enough, you’ll have a more refined jawline. I’ve seen kids (aged 11–13 usually) who will make fun of others for not mewing or not having a refined jawline."
"I don’t mind if you mew, but don’t make fun of others for not doing it, or make a big deal about it!"
3. "You can be fat, but you have to be the RIGHT KIND of fat, meaning no belly fat of any kind. You have to be shaped like a bass violin, with big butt and thighs, but your belly has to be flat as a pancake. Anyone with an 'apron belly' is immediately disqualified as beautiful."
"Your boobs must be huge too, and the EXACT SAME SIZE. No asymmetry here! *eye roll*"
"As a fat woman who has always carried my weight in my belly, I get this! It's so strange too that this type of fat placement is so shamed. I work in medicine. and the 'fat belly' stigma is real.
I think so many people believe incorrectly that fat bellies come from beer, poor lifestyle choices, or from being an immoral person. I believe so much of this stigma is really about classism.
I have a big, fat belly from genetics and also stress. I have extremely high rates of cortisol due to being in an impoverished environment and being raised in dysfunction. I can't demand my brain stop secreting hormones.
Even when I have lost weight or started exercising and changed my diet, I still have a big, old belly...But people honestly believe I am an unintelligent, unsophisticated, and crass person because of where my weight is."
4. "The trend of teenagers buying all this skincare they DON’T NEED. All someone that age should be starting with is a cleanser and moisturizer, maybe a toner if they’re acne prone. But whoever is coaching these kids that they need expensive anti-aging products needs to be stopped."
"I was in Sephora a few weeks ago, and it was just flooded with kids wasting their money. Have fun with makeup. I know I did, but I never fussed over needing the high-end whatever just to clean my face with. I just used what was at the drugstore, and I still have great-looking skin."
5. "Whole body deodorant. I don’t want bad BO from my pits either, but this is just adding to the expectations that our biology shouldn’t smell and is something we should be embarrassed about if we can’t hide it."
"There are sensitive places that fragranced products should not go."
6. "That 'aging well' means not only looking like you haven't aged, but looking like you haven't tried to look like you haven't aged."
"In reality, you can be 80, LOOK 80, and be fucking gorgeous."
7. "I mean, this has been a thing for forever, but fad diets that are hard and unreasonable to maintain for a certain look that doesn't fit your body type. It's good to eat healthy and exercise, but let your body naturally do its thing too. Genetics play a role in your body shape too, and there is nothing wrong with it!"
"Embrace your natural body shape!"
8. "Wanting women to have children but not look like they have children — no sagging, no tired eyes, etc."
9. "The 'perfect' postpartum body is such a joke. My boobs are practically sacks now, my butt has dissolved, and I still have a small belly bump. It’s been a year since I had my second baby. It’s wild to me that we are made to believe that our bodies are just supposed to magically 'bounce back' after growing and birthing a child."
"And let’s be honest, a lot of our bodies will never 'bounce back' regardless of how much we work out or how we eat. Pregnancy changes us drastically. It’s natural and hard and beautiful!"
10. "Wearing makeup to be considered 'put together.' Like…why can’t I just show up with my regular face?"
11. "I am 52, and part of me wants to get fillers and botox all over. But everyone who does that for any period of time looks just like everyone else who does it. I want to look like me."
"I am beautiful now, and judging from looking at my mom, I'll be beautiful at 80."
12. "Keeping up with looking youthful. We age. I don't know why this is a bad thing. We have our time when we are teens and in our 20s and 30s, but starting at our 40s, skin loses elasticity and we start our next chapter. AND THAT'S NOT A BAD THING, for fuck's sake. It is a privilege to become older and get grayer and have wrinkles and smile lines."
"I'm letting my hair go gray, and yes, I do moisturize and wash my skin, but I've stopped with full makeup and will refuse all fillers and surgery. It's pointless and a waste of money to try and outrun the clock. Embrace it."
13. "That big girls only look 'good' if they still have a small waist."
"Big hips, thighs, and tits, but a small waist is like finding a unicorn."
14. "I hate that people are saying hip dips are a problem."
"Having hip dips just means you’re a normal, healthy human being."
15. "That gray hair ages a woman, but makes a man a fox."
16. "I still get blasted about having a pixie cut, by both men and women, and I find it so disgusting."
"When I got pregnant, my sister-in-law said, 'Oh, that's so good. Now you can take pre-natals and grow out your hair.' I wish I could spin kick."
17. "'You should put on more makeup to cover up your flaws.' But when I do, it's, 'you're wearing so much makeup, you don't need to cover yourself up so much.'"
"So I take it off, and they say, 'You look tired, are you okay?'"
18. "Fat bodies [can't exist] without being criticized for 'glorifying obesity.' ...Even videos of fat people going to the gym are mocked or shamed — fucking ridiculous."
"I find it just disgusting and cruel — the comments I see on people’s pictures and videos of them just living life that say, 'Stop glamorizing obesity'"
I have seen this even on GYM photos.
The disgusting swine who act this way never stop to remember or are reminded by others that this is a STRANGER, and they do not know what is happening with someone’s physical health or body."
19. "People forgetting makeup is a form of art. You don't have to be good at it to enjoy it. You wash your canvas away every night. It's ok to just have fun with it."
20. "Flawless skin is a beauty trend that shouldn't be normalized. I'm always so insecure about my breakouts, but it's a normal thing, and I know it."
21. And finally: "EVERYTHING to do with being a woman! How have we reached a point at which 'beauty' entails a $300 hair appointment every six weeks, professionally manicured nails and toes every month, regular Botox injections, teeth whitening, a perfectly flat stomach, and zero body fat — but you better also have curves in the right places? Don’t forget to shave yourself bare head to toe, and then top everything off with hundreds of dollars in skincare and makeup and the mandatory spray tan. Not to mention the ever-growing list of accessories and clothing. You need the Lulu leggings, the pastel Stanley, and everything else just to look the part."
"Being an 'attractive' woman costs a wild amount of time and money and effort to closely follow trends. If you enjoy doing all that, more power to you. But I firmly believe we have been trained to chase a certain standard that is becoming increasingly unreasonable."
Which of these do you agree with most? What other modern beauty standards do you think are absolutely ridiculous? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length/clarity.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.