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Parents

13 Ways Parents Have Sex But Will Never Admit To

We know you do it.

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1. You surprise your kids with extended gaming time so you can go play, too.

Bonus if you get your kids to wear headphones.
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Bonus if you get your kids to wear headphones.

2. Anytime the kids are sleeping, you're not. 😉

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Nap time/bedtime = sex time.

3. Ah, the schedulers. You literally plan the day and time you have sex.

Pencil me in!
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Pencil me in!

4. You tell your partner you're ready to get down in a sext.

As Elsa would say, time to "let it go."
BuzzFeed / Via Torres

As Elsa would say, time to "let it go."

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5. When your kids are watching their morning cartoons, you simply crank up the volume and run into the bedroom.

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The downside is you end up doin' it to the beat of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

6. You send the kids to your parents for an all-nighter. They get quality grandparent time and you get quality love-making time.

Walt Disney

You might actually get to have sex multiple times for once.

7. You kill three birds with one stone. Shower, sex and lower water bills.

Paramount Pictures

Genius.

8. You give the kids 15 minutes to clean their room so you can do your own house cleaning.

And they aren't allowed to come out until you're ready to inspect.
KFOR

And they aren't allowed to come out until you're ready to inspect.

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9. You've definitely met at home on your lunch break for a nooner.

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You "jump" on every opportunity.

10. You fake a headache so your partner has to come "check" on you.

Walt Disney Pictures

It's your go-to excuse and it works every time.

11. You hire a babysitter for a date night, then get creative with out-of-the-house intercourse possibilities.

Walt Disney Pictures

This isn't the same as paying for sex, or is it?!

12. You sneak in a sesh during your kids' extracurricular activities.

A real soccer mom scores while the kids are at practice.
Flickr: globalx

A real soccer mom scores while the kids are at practice.

13. You teach your kids to give you privacy in the bathroom for when you're feeling ~the urge~ and your partner isn't home.

You are the Lone Ranger.
Apex Film

You are the Lone Ranger.

You did it! You have kids and you found time for sex. Congratulate your partner and wait another three months.

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