back to top

17 Idiot Questions Gryffindors Had That Slytherins Deigned To Answer

Turn to page 394 and follow along quietly. The Gryffindors at BuzzFeed had some questions that forced Slytherins to bring the clap back.

Posted on

1. How does it feel to be a part of the most loathed house at Hogwarts?

It makes us feel like Taylor Swift, tbh.

2. Do you ever secretly wish you were a Gryffindor?

That's like asking if Kanye would ever want to live in someone else's shoes for a day...

Advertisement

3. Are you proud of the reputation your house has in the school?

ABC

You mean the reputation of having one of the greatest wizards of all time, Severus Snape, who also happened to be the one to save Harry Potter's life... repeatedly? Yes. Yes we are.

4. Do you honestly believe the teachings of Salazar Slytherin? The whole pureblood thing.

Let's just take a moment to think about what kind of people really have TRUE ambition. Poor people. People of color. Women. Basically any minority that's suppressed by the people who are benefitting from the current status quo. Don't ask dumb questions.

Advertisement

5. Could someone tell Millicent Bulstrode to stop spreading cat hairs everywhere?

Warner Bros.

Could someone tell Hermione Granger not to steal people's identities and also souls?

6. Does it bother you that, like, 99 percent of the world believes Gryffindor is the best house?

Does it bother you that it isn't?

Advertisement

7. Although not all Slytherins are terrible, do you ever feel weird knowing that your crest was named after one of the most hated creatures of all time?

Warner Bros. Pictures

Do you ever feel weird knowing that snakes are misunderstood because of the necessary actions they take in order to survive?

8. Does it make you feel weird that Malfoy, your Quidditch seeker, had to buy his way on to the team?

Warner Bros. Pictures

Does it make you feel weird that Ron didn't *actually* earn his spot?

Advertisement

9. On a scale from one to 10, how mad were you all when Dumbledore awarded Gryffindor the House Cup after the whole Philosopher’s Stone thing?

IDK, how mad were you when you graduated and realized that Dumbledore wasn't going to be there to bail you out of all your mistakes in the real world?

10. Do you feel a little weird knowing that some of your parents are Death Eaters?!

Bravo

Do you feel a little weird knowing that some of your parents were friends with Peter Pettigrew?

Advertisement

11. Could one of you notify Blaise Zabini to drop by the Gryffindor common room one day? He’s cute.

Beacon Pictures

No.

12. Does it suck that your common room is located in the dungeons?

We're closer to the food you simpletons.

Advertisement

13. Are you guys ever astonished by how dim Crabbe and Goyle are?

Warner Bros. Pictures

Are you ever astonished by how dim Ron Weasley is?

14. Harry was definitely the winner of the duel between him and Malfoy in year two, right?

FOX

Whatever you need to tell yourself to make your life less dull.

Advertisement

15. Do you all ever make friends with people in other Hogwarts houses?

Disney Channel

Yeah, just not you. Special shout out to Hufflepuff for those ~choice herbs~.

16. Is it annoying that the most popular person who ever lived is a Gryffindor?

Bravo

"Popularity is fleeting, ambition is forever," said Merlin, who was both most famous wizard of all time and also a SLYTHERIN.

17. And finally, if you could be sorted again, would you ask the Sorting Hat to be a Gryffindor?

Warner Bros. Pictures

I must not tell lies.