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84 Thoughts I Had While Watching Episode 7, Season 5 Of "Game Of Thrones"

The theme of this season is: Let's see how much worse we can make Sansa's life. SPOILERS AHEAD.

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1. If this episode doesn't start with Sansa murdering Ramsay, I don't want to watch it.

2. I forgot how pissed off I was at Cersei from the last episode.

3. Oh right, and we're still looking that good ol' cock merchant for Tyrion.

4. Yeah time to light that damn candle, Sansa.

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5. Every time they show Winterfell it just reminds me of why I moved from the East Coast.

6. Does an episode with Sam go by where he doesn't mention the ONE brave thing he did?

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7. Can we talk about how Gilly's baby hasn't aged?

8. Gilly gets so bitter anytime she doesn't understand a historical reference.

9. Also, why is that baby not wearing a shirt or anything? Kid's gonna freeze.

10. Wait, did Maester Aemon just call her Gillyflower?

11. But actually, Gilly will forever be Cassie from Skins to me.

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12. Sansa is literally being locked in her room? God, Brienne please help.

13. Omg the bruises on her arms. I'm crying.

14. Theon get your shit together and light that candle.

15. Seems like some pretty questionable weather conditions for that candle to stay lit.

16. If Theon told Ramsay, whatever shred of respect I had for him will be out the window.

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17. Omg Maester Aemon is so cute. This makes me so sad.

18. I'm going to get a cat and name it Egg.

19. ... That might be the most "single" thing I've ever said.

20. Ugh omg RIP Maester Aemon. But at least he gets the graceful death he deserves.

21. "You're losing all your friends, Tarly." – Uh, not the time to be a dick, bruh.

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22. OK I don't know how much that sharp little stick you swiped is gonna help ya, Sansa, but I support it.

23. Sansa, don't bring up the bastard thing... just don't.

24. OH MY GOD. Fuck you, Reek.

25. The theme of this season is: Let's see how much worse we can make Sansa's life.

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26. "Winter is coming." God forbid we go an episode without hearing that.

27. I'm digging Stannis' beard.

28. Stannis, are you trying to make a war plan or get laid right now?

29. Hoe don't do it. Don't you dare try and suggest he sacrifices Shireen.

30. And ya did it.

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31. God, no no no. Get out of there, Gilly.

32. Let out your inner wilding and kill their asses.

33. Sam. Hold the damn sword like you mean it.

34. And he's already down.

35. Holy shit, please stop punching him in the face.

36. This episode is HORRIBLE.

37. YASSS GHOST, YASSS.

38. Direwolves for the win.

39. OK but Sam just had his face beaten in so no matter how lovestruck he is those kisses wouldn't be feeling great.

40. I can't tell if Gilly is into Sam or this is a pity fuck.

41. LOL at the fact Sam can't even speak when he has a girl on top of him.

42. Ew but the way his eyes rolled back into his head.

43. "OH MY." – That is the most Samwell Tarly thing Sam could say during sex.

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44. Tyrion proving himself as a fighter is kinda hilarious.

45. I guess we're scrapping the plan to sell his cock to the cock merchant?

46. Tyrion is already trying to make a salaried position for himself one second into being bought by this dude.

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47. Yessssss a Daario sex scene. I take it back, this episode is OK.

48. Daario and Dany's pillow talk is too fucking cute.

49. :: pours glass of wine and thinks about dying alone ::

50. How could Dany say no to this shirtless proposal from Daario?

51. If a shirtless Daario asked me to clean his damn toilet I would say yes.

52. "All rulers are either butchers or meat." Damn, that's some real talk.

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53. Olenna Tyrell, it's time to fuck some shit up and get your grandkids back.

54. I like how they had that random "sucks getting old" bonding moment.

55. Can the High Sparrow take a bath or something?

56. Also, why is he wearing a literal burlap sack?

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57. Can Tommen man up and get Margaery outta jail?

58. But why is there nothing you can do? Aren't you the King?

59. Cersei looked like she was going to choke when Tommen said, "I love her."

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60. This is some classic teen angst between Jamie and his daughter/fake niece.

61. "You don't know me." LOL.

62. Bron has a pretty nice voice, tbh.

63. One of the sand snakes is all about Bron.

64. Casual strip tease in front of your sisters? Doesn't really seem like the time...

65. NOOOOO. I don't want Bron to die.

66. Girl just sent him on an emotional roller coaster.

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67. Littlefinger and Grandma Tyrell need to team up and take some people down.

68. You're giving Grandma Tyrell a handsome young man? I'm confused.

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69. Dany's dress is so dope.

70. Very Kim K of her.

71. "It's the fucking Queen," this dude is spazzing out.

72. Dany just has to watch these people die? This is... fun?

73. And I thought sitting through a baseball game was bad...

74. Jorah's like, "Screw this — I need to see mah girl."

75. Why is Tyrion the only one chained up though? Like was he really the biggest threat in there?

76. Dany's watching Jorah fight like, "OK, this is kinda fun now."

77. OMG the bro nod Tyrion and that guy exchanged after he freed him was priceless.

78. Bringing Tyrion to Dany is either going to go really bad or really good for Jorah.

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79. Cersei is 100% enjoying seeing Margaery in prison.

80. Whenever Cersei smirks I involuntarily clench my fists.

81. If the High Sparrow only knew the shit Cersei was gulity of.

82. Oh shit, what you did with your cousin is about to come back and haunt you.

83. KARMA IS A BITCH, CERSEI.

84. THAT CAME BACK TO BITE YA IN THE ASS, DIDN'T IT CERSEI?