A Definitive Ranking Of The Boston Subway Lines

Let's be honest, the green line is a shitshow.

8. The D train (Green Line)

Creative Commons / Flickr: sonnett

What it's known for: Drunk Red Sox fans.

The pro: Sometimes you can get on at the outdoor stops without swiping your Charlie card... not that I would ever do that or anything.

The con: It basically runs a fourth as often as the other green line trains, so when you finally get on you're usually nuzzled into someone's armpit.

7. The E train (Green Line)

Creative Commons / Flickr: billdamon

What it's known for: The train you take to get to the MFA.

The pro: Once you get outside, it's a pretty scenic ride.

The con: The number of times you hear "this train is being taken out of service" at Brigham Circle. Trying to ride during rush hour in the winter? Forget it.

6. The C train (Green Line)

Creative Commons / Flickr: billdamon

What it's known for: You can get to Coolidge Corner on this line, among other places.

The pro: It seems to run more frequently than the D and E lines.

The con: Like all green line trains, it doesn't have convenient stations to reload your Charlie card. So, bring cash.

5. The Blue Line

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What it's known for: The stop "Wonderland" and the 47 pictures you've seen people upload that say "OMG I went to Wonderland."

The pro: You can get to both the aquarium and the airport on the Blue Line. And fish are really cool, so that's awesome.

The con: Anytime you need to use the Blue Line, you're like, "Where da fuq do I get the Blue Line?"

4. The B train (Green Line)

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What it's known for: All those drunk kids going to Allston on the weekend.

The pro: It runs super frequently because BC kids don't like to wait.

The con: It's basically a drunk tank past 9 p.m. Which can also be a pro if you're the drunk one.

3. The Silver Line

Creative Commons / Flickr: conbon

What it's known for: It's the line you use to get to the airport. And also, it's a bus? So you kind of always wonder why it's lumped in with the rest of the subway system.

The pro: You don't have to pay $40 to get to the airport, which is great when your family leaves you high and dry at Logan. Also, it's much cleaner than the other lines.

The con: Does anyone really take this, otherwise?

2. The Orange Line

Creative Commons / Flickr: ekilby

What it's known for: Going fairly far outside of Boston and being an ~unofficial~ commuter rail of sorts. (It's true. I got to jury duty in Malden on the Orange Line.)

The pro: It runs fairly frequently and they finally installed signs that tell you when the next train is arriving. When you don't feel like waiting for the Green Line, there's a decent chance the Orange Line might be able to get you where you want to go too.

The con: If it's cold outside you're probably going to freeze your ass off at the outdoor stops (same goes for the Green Line).

1. The Red Line

Creative Commons / Flickr: helveticafanatic

What it's known for: Park Street. Which is pretty much the center of the universe in Boston. Or if you're heading towards Alewife you'll see some Hahvard kids.

The pro: Once you get to Park you can find your way pretty much anywhere. The trains run frequently too. Park Street is the hub of Boston. The best perk of all is the great street musicians that play at various stops on the Red Line (they know what's up).

The con: It's way too easy to get on a Braintree train when you meant to get on a Ashmont one.