1. Identity Disturbance
People with BPD can experience identity disturbance, which can include a persistent unstable sense of self. They may suffer from chronic feelings of emptiness, excessive self-criticism, and dissociative states.
"I longed to stabilize my core identity and to withstand the pressure of other people's words, behaviors, moods, and perceptions. I wanted to be less easily thrown." - Girl in Need of a Tourniquet, Merri Lisa Johnson
"It is as if when the struggle to find identity becomes intolerable, the solution is either to lose identity altogether or to achieve a semblance of self through pain or numbness." - I Hate You, Don't Leave Me, Jerold J Kriesman, MD, and Hal Straus
"I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me." - The Waves, Virginia Woolf
"But what if you simply don't have a solid self to return to—if the way you are is seen as basically broken?" - The Buddha and the Borderline, Kiera Van Gelder
2. Depression
Many times people diagnosed with BPD also have a co-occurring mental illness. Even if the person is not diagnosed with BPD and depression, it is likely they may feel similar for anywhere from hours to a few days. They may experience hopelessness, pervasive shame, inferior self-worth, and thoughts of suicide.
"I can feel the sensation (it burns) of being called crazy when you feel wounded and desperate." - Girl in Need of a Tourniquet, Merri Lisa Johnson
"I know insecurity is unattractive. I hate this side of me. I don't really hate this side of me. I think other people will hate it so I hate it preemptively to ward off the unbearable feeling of having my shortcomings pointed out by other people. I want to get there before anyone else and stake my claim on hating my jealousy so no one else can." - Girl in Need of a Tourniquet, Merri Lisa Johnson
3. Empathy
Some people with BPD have a compromised ability to realize what other people's needs are. They may seem easily insulted and hypersensitive to others. This can be very difficult to deal with when the person also has an unclear understanding of who they are as a person.
"It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply." - Love and Space Dust, David Jones
"I believe tuning into other people's emotions is my secret superpower." - Girl in Need of a Tourniquet, Merri Lisa Johnson
"Like a sponge, she absorbs every frown, every tightened jaw, and feels responsible for it." - Boundaries Where You End and I Begin: How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries, Anne Katherine, MA
4. Moods & Emotions
A hallmark of BPD is the unstable emotions that are experienced. Some of these emotions include anxiety, fear of abandonment and rejection, and depression. These emotions may be intense and hard to handle at times.
"I couldn't trust my own emotions. Which emotional reactions were justified, if any, and which ones were tainted by the mental illness of BPD. I found myself fiercely guarding and limiting my emotional reactions, chastising myself for possible distortions and motivations." - Get Me Out of Here, Rachel Reiland
"Mood changes come swiftly, explosively, carrying the borderline from the heights of joy to the depths of depression. Filled with anger one hour, calm the next, he often has little inkling about why he was driven to such wrath. Afterward, the inability to understand the origins of the episode brings on more self-hate and depression." - I Hate You, Don't Leave Me, Jerold J Kreisman and Hal Straus
"And like the sea, I'm constantly changing from calm to hell." - Dallas Green
5. Relationships
Often times many with BPD have a difficult time in relationships. Close relationships may be marked by being unstable and intense. They can experience a preoccupation with real and/or imagined abandonment. Idealization, devaluation, over involvement, and withdrawal can also occur in their relationships.
"This longing for body comfort and security is familiar as my own face." - Girl in Need of a Tourniquet, Merri Lisa Johnson
"It isn't any particular person I want to lie down with and make my own. It isn't anybody at all. It is the feeling of being taken care of that I want to pin down and rock my hips against. Sling a leg across and fall asleep." - Girl in Need of a Tourniquet, Merri Lisa Johnson
"You make me feel like a person. Like I'm me and I'm beautiful." - Requiem for a Dream
6. Anger
It is not uncommon for a person with BPD to experience inappropriate, intense anger which can be hard to control. For those with BPD, emotions, including anger, can be easily aroused and sometimes they may be out of proportion to the circumstances taking place.
"Throw my phone at the wall. I cry. Scream again. Shake. I slam a kitchen cabinet door shut twenty times in a row." - Girl in Need of a Tourniquet, Merri Lisa Johnson
"I have outbursts of anger. I throw out manipulative words. They are meant to hurt him. All the little stabs are there to push him away, even though he and I know that's the opposite of what I want," - Girl in Need of a Tourniquet, Merri Lisa Johnson
7. Impulse Control
It can be difficult for those with BPD to not act on impulses from things immediately going on around them. This is one of the reasons those with the disorder tend to take part in self-destructive acts. These can include cutting, taking drugs, drinking alcohol, binging and purging, overspending, and sexual promiscuity. These bring about a sense of relief from the sense of urgency they may feel at times in response to intense emotions.
"You would be surprised what lengths people will go to not face what's real and painful inside them." - My Mad Fat Diary
"A lifetime of escaping yourself at all costs." - The Buddha and the Borderline, Kiera Van Gelder
8. Anxiety
People diagnosed with BPD experience intense anxiety, especially when it comes to relationships. They can be extremely fearful of losing control and negative future or past events. They may feel panic all at once, which can be frightening.
"My life story is structured by reckless reenactments of panic and flight." - Girl in Need of a Tourniquet, Merri Lisa Johnson
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