We Can Predict Your Future Based On Your Eye Color
You'll soon be lost at sea through no fault of your own. After your rescue, you'll start writing a book that will make you both wealthy and alienated.
You're going to get drunk with David Lynch, and he's going to tell you what the hell the Eraserhead baby was really made from.
A poisoned beer meant for you will end up killing a prize-winning Dachshund. You are then so grateful for your life that you're not even bothered by getting sued by the pup's owner.
You're going to coin a phrase that will get texted more often than WTF and LOL combined. Sadly it will make you zero money.
You'll soon find yourself in the Witness Protection Program, but you'll never again see your friends or family.
Soon you'll meet an elderly woman who will make such an impact on your life that you'll get a photo-realistic tattoo of her face on your arm, (obeying your subconscious mind while sleep-walking).
You're going to develop severe acne on your forehead in the shape of a smiley face. When it clears, it will leave a scar in the same shape.
A creepy clown will start appearing to you and only you. No worries, though — it's just a hallucination.
You're going to accidentally stop the mugging of a Chipotle exec. As a thank you, Chipotle rewards you with a free Chipotle for life pass.
You soon will come down with an illness which will leave you bedridden for months. After recovery, you will be enlightened.
You will create a no-calorie ice cream that tastes even better than Edy's Grand. If you don't play your cards right, that neighbor of yours will steal your recipe and make millions without you.
Very soon, you'll catch dogs making crop circles. It'll be weird, and you won't make any money from it.