Being ChristianHigh IQ
High IQ users also like Morgan Freeman's voice, apparently. As of press time, regular fries decline to comment on your intelligence.
Emotional stabilityAversion to urine
MBA grads will backflip over your head while thinking non-neurotic thoughts. Neurotics, meanwhile, prefer liking emo and the Addams Family on Facebook.
College graduatedDissatisfaction with life
Hawthorne Heights had a song called Ohio Is For Lovers. Ohio's not the happiest state?
Having many FB friendsBeing Married
People with many Facebook friends also like biology a whole lot, the better to study dollar bill butt microbes with.
Risk-aversionSatisfaction with life
Life-satisfied users also like Christianity, Jesus, and Indiana Jones.
High self-esteemHaving few FB friends
Those with few Facebook friends are the most likely to be Juggalo-haters. Shaggy 2 Dope urges you to hate him instead of his fans.
Heterosexuality (male)Alcohol consumption
Yes, apparently liking these two things on Facebook is a good sign that a guy is straight.
No drug useAltruism
Drug-free folks like running with a backpack full of awkward jokes. Time to start liking these things on Facebook if you want to get hired.
Being singleTV ownership
Not sure why coupled folks don't share bachelors' zeal for Usain Bolt. Apparently Usain Bolt uses a photo of his ex-girlfriend's booty as inspiration before a race.
Being baldBeing a drinker
Drinkers are spiteful serpents. But they also liked "Getting A Text That Says I Miss You." Non-drinkers, meanwhile, perk up their ears when they hear any noise in their houses. Or at least they like telling Facebook that.