1.
at the gym i said subscription instead of membership and the girl replied with 'lol this isnt a pharmacy'. bitch thats a prescription were both stupid
2.
My badass little cousin ordered $300 worth of toys w/o my aunt & uncle knowing. This is a picture of how everyone found out. https://t.co/wHWVhsMBYI
3.
yaren’t ready for this one
4.
yall
5.
Imagine the disappointment of moving to a sleepy, idyllic New England town to start a new life, only to discover it doesn't harbor any dark secrets.
6.
7.
🔥💪🏽🔥
8.
If my boyfriend 💏and my horse 🐴 were both drowning 🙀💦and I could only save one ☝️🏊♂️they’d both be safe 👌because they’re both 👯♀️the same horse 😍💖🤠🏇
9.
Someone said they should put this on ESPN for 30mins. I would deadass watch this lol (Taken from FB: Eric Branch @ Lowell Elementary School) https://t.co/HEn93vvVFA
10.
|￣￣￣￣￣￣ | | please | | stop killing | | mountains | | to make | |mountain dew| | ＿＿＿＿____| (\__/) || (•ㅅ•) || / づ
11.
superheroes being 178% done with everyone and everything with wii music playing in the background
12.
Ideologically I don’t agree with organized religion but they kind of went off with stained glass
13.
Dang who radicalized McDonald’s
14.
It's weird that ppl interpret the moral of The Pied Piper story as "Don't trust strangers" when really it's "Always pay freelancers"
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bro my coworker starts crying bc her boyfriend broke up w her (thru text) & my manager gon say “that’s why we stay off our phones @ work” LMFAAAAOOOO shordy ain’t shit 😭
17.
WHAT ARE WE? SAD! WHAT’RE WE GONNA DO? BUY THINGS! WILL IT HELP? TEMPORARILY !
18.
My mom turned my Masters degree into a blanket. “yOuR dEgReE wOnt KeEp yOu wArM aT NiGhT tHoUgH.” NOW it will, you lil bitch. https://t.co/FQxADLQgpq
19.
met a bunch of guys from Harvard yesterday and I kept pretending like I never heard of that school just to piss them off...one of them legit turned red when I said, “Harvard? Is that like a local community college?” LMAOOOOOO
20.
Me: goodnight moon Moon: read 8:24 PM ✅
21.
modern friendship is just sending the same $20 back and forth via venmo, forever
22.
YOUNG MAN you're a man who is young I said YOUNG MAN you're a man who's not old I said YOUNG MAN don't know the words to this song I said YOUNG MAN YOUNG MAN YOUNG MAN
23.
“PSL is so basic white girl” Ok Connor how is that 3rd Monster you’ve gulped today you basic ass bitch
24.
best time of my life was when I was single, not dating at all, and celibate as fuck. I was stress free, not being lied to or half assed, only worried about myself & nobody else. No man could check me, keep tabs on me. I didn’t even miss dick or male presence.
25.
when u get out of the shower on ur period & it’s a race between you, time, and gravity
26.
