1.
😂 😂 😂
2.
Before you turn 18 you have to choose exactly one of these books to read and then never stop talking about for the rest of your life: -Harry Potter -The Great Gatsby -Animal Farm -The Communist Manifesto -1984 -The Bible
3.
the guests in the restaurant of Ratatouille after finding out the meal was made by a rat
4.
michael cohen post malone azealia was in elon’s home nazi prison guard deport verdict time for manafort 🎶 we didn't start the fire 🎶
5.
OH MY FUCKING GOD
6.
national anthem - old as shit - written by a racist - way fuckin overplayed - not catchy at all baby shark song - fucking slaps - catchy as hell - is currently raising the next generation better than their own parents - doo doo doo doo doo
7.
girl what's wrong whith u come back down
8.
yo Veruca Salt was a bitch
9.
Oh my lord
10.
Voldemort was really beefing with a kid.
11.
are men ........... . okay
Here it is so you can see it better:
12.
Dear Universe, When I wrote "Nick Jonas + Priyanka 4ever" in my middle school journal I meant something else but go off I guess.
13.
My dad saw that viral video of the guy who cut holes in his fence for his nosey dog so he decided to test it out and the results did not disappoint https://t.co/MatcopjKmL
14.
girls: the last time my best friend had sex was at 9:26 pm last Sunday and she didn’t even finish even though he did guys: my best friend may or may not be engaged to his girlfriend Stella or Stacey or Sandra or something idk we don’t really talk about our personal lives much
15.
9 yo me: wow I love my public library yes I’d like to check out 14 novels that are above my reading level. Be back next week Me now: wow I love my public library yes I would like to check out one—I believe it’s called a Bööke? I will be back in 3-5 business months
16.
fuck millennials nostalgic for harry potter and matilda. y’all make me SICK. this is the level of nostalgia i’m on
17.
I'm at the dentist and a guy just walked in. The receptionist asked "who do you have an appointment with?" His response: "Dr. Dentist?"
18.
Before vs after seeing my boyfriend
19.
i’ve been waiting so long to say this
Here's that one clearer:
20.
Boy in the pub was telling me his job is a penguin erector so every time a plane flys over Edinburgh zoo the penguins can’t take their eyes off it and end up falling over n he just goes round picking them back up, 38 penguins 2000 flights a day
21.
Okay so my dad’s office and the office across the way are having a post-it note war 😂
22.
all i wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* have- *click* *cash register noise* some fun, i got a feelin’ I’m not the only one
23.
i wanna move to new york just so i can dress like i'm shooting for vogue everyday without being judged
24.
i just convinced a tinder boy we had the same number so i didnt have to text him
And here's the one from above easier to see.
25.
Hooters, but it's guys with big balls
26.
Id pay to walk here in heels