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25 Of The Fucking Funniest Tweets By Women This Week

"Diets are all fun and games until it’s time to eat."

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Pretty sure I just received the best fake ID of my bartending career; a girl handed me my missing license from 2 years ago

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sibling fights don’t end in apology, y’all just walk around the house and don’t talk to each other for a couple hours and then one of u will pop ur head in the other’s room and ask if they want food

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The moment my mom decided I was no longer her daughter anymore

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MY BOYFRIEND TOOK MY PHONE AND TEXTED ALL MY FRIENDS LIKE " wasn’t I with you last night " AND ALL MY FRIENDS BACKED ME UP 😂💪🏽‼️ HE GONNA THROW MY PHONE AT ME LIKE " YA FRIENDS ARE LIARS I WAS WITH YOU LAST NIGHT SO HOW WAS THEY WITH YOU THIS WHY I DONT LIKE THEM NOW

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boyfriends deadass get mad when u touch their butt like it's our fault they got the wagon??? no one asked u to be double cheeked up like this. u stupid ass bad bitch. thick ass slice of heaven. why u walk in the room n ur ass walks in 5 minutes later

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me: *hires a hitman* hitman: ok whos the target me: *hands them a picture* hitman: but..this is a pic of you... me: https://t.co/lTprJ3erib

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I feel like Men aren't sending us their best people.

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algebra class just got a little more interesting...

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Hello men- it’s shorts weather now so remember the old rhyme: At or above the knee, That’s what we like to see, Longer than the knee A juggalo ye be

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Diets are all fun and games until it’s time to eat.

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i’m never having a crush on someone ever again that shit is embarrassing

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I don't count sex unless I was bought a steak beforehand so I really am a Virgin. Wow

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Surviving in Nigeria is not easy at all, Someone online wants to sell a fridge with no door to me, he’s convincing me to use a curtain.

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our Disney trip consisted of Tim eating.... the entire time 😂

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