What's up, internet. My name is Kelly and, like many of you, I've suffered through the weird process of attempting to find companionship with another human, aka this awful thing we call "dating."
Now, I can't speak for everyone, but dating in the good ol' city of LA can be a particularly wild experience. From having to find a halfway point to meet in the same city to seeing the guy who ghosted you pop up on Selling Sunset, everyone seems to have a story.
Here are 15 tweets that accurately (and painfully) sum up dating in LA:
1. First, the primary use of Google Maps on my phone:
dating in LA is so fun! first, i do a google maps between our two houses and then if it's more than a 30 minute drive i move on with my life
2. This tweet I had to drop in the group chat because it actually made me laugh out loud:
Someone asked me how dating is like in LA and recently I went out with a super attractive man who I thought at one point was leaning in to kiss me but then he told me he only wanted us to “breathe each other energies” so that is what dating in LA is like so far I guess
3. This unfortunate truth:
“you need a man bc who else is gonna change a tire for you” um idk where you are meeting your men but i meet mine on dating apps in los angeles and i promise you not a single one knows how to do that
4. Actually upset about the accuracy of this one:
(Dating Rules in LA) First base: working together Second base: having sex Third base: traveling together Home Run: they start doing normal things like asking you on actual dates, taking care of your pet, and driving you to the airport.
5. This helluva story:
Dating in LA is being purchased two vodka tonics and then being sent A DROPBOX FILLED WITH LOGLINES.
6. "The punch line goes: I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age":
"I'm into older women." --40-year-old guy in LA dating someone his own age
7. This tweet that made me go, "yeah, pretty much":
my friend was talking to me about what led to her breakup and she said “he got into cryptocurrency and ignored me for half a year” and I think that sums up dating in LA very well
8. This horrendous experience:
A guy I was talking to asked what kind of foreign accent I’d like him to use on our 1st date and I said ‘haha?’ and he said ‘no seriously I’m really good at accents’ and that’s the story of not only why I deleted my dating apps but also why I set the entire city of LA on fire.
9. Thank god I'm not the only one this has happened to:
Just matched with my ex on hinge. I’m beginning to believe Los Angeles is limbo for single people. I will forever be stuck dating the same vegan white dude, only the color of his beanie will change.
10. My worst nightmare, TBH:
imagine going on a date w someone in LA and the vibes are right, the chemistry is palpable, you think to yourself, “they could be the one” and then they take you back to their place & they live in one of those mansions with like 25 adult roommates all trying to be tiktok famous
11. This cold, stark reality we live in:
you can both live in LA and still be in a long-distance relationship https://t.co/7Q1GoWMy5g
12. Once again, I hate it because it's true:
What is your least favorite LA dating app euphemism for “actor”? I keep going back and forth between “pretender” and “dreamer”.
13. This notion I 1000% agree with:
dating should be considered an extreme sport in los angeles
14. For the love of god, please stop:
I promise you do NOT need to post your LA Fitness basketball highlights on your Hinge profile
15. And finally, this 100% accurate truth:
if you live in LA long enough you’ll see someone who hurt your feelings on a billboard