1.
Writing “Warm Regards” on a passive aggressive work email
2.
“Sorry for the reply delay!” - predictable - disorganised - admits fault on your part “in response to your premature email,” - brazen - establishes dominance - might get fired, giving you more time to work on your series of crime novellas
3.
I JUST SENT A WORK EMAIL THAT WAS JUST 800 PUMPKIN EMOJIS
4.
anyone who sends a work-related email, text, fax, page or tiktok the week between Christmas & New Year's, don't forget to cc um and bcc no
5.
[evolution of a work email] FUCK YOU I SPECIFICALLY SAID- *deletedeletedelete* If you had taken the time to actually read wha- *deletedeletedelete* Apologies, I will be more clear next time :)
6.
me: *responds to one work email* me exhausted lying in bed immediately after: https://t.co/K53N5KKSRq
7.
Every work email I send: Hey! Sorry to bug you! Was just wondering (If it’s not too much trouble) Would it be possible to do thing you said you’d do? Totally fine if not! Prob my fault anyway I’m an idiot :) Sorry to bother you! Sorry I exist! So sorry! Just let me know! Emily
8.
WORK EMAIL: Hey will you do this? ME, OUT LOUD: noooooooooo pleaaaaaase noooooooo godddddd please don't make me do this please god fuck you noooooo ME, EMAIL: Yup! Will circle back momentarily :)
9.
*Sending a work email after not talking to someone for a week* My brain: Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Me: “...Hope all is well”
10.
I know this is a company-wide email but it definitely feels like it was sent directly to me
11.
“I hope this email finds you well” - cliche - passive aggressive - you’d better be fuckin well “I hope this email doesn’t find you ill...” - spicy - shows concern for public health - adds a level of threat, leading to faster response
12.
boss: can we talk about the company-wide email you sent out me: it was a critical update boss: it just says "i'm back on my bullshit" me: people need to know
13.
"per my last email" = "In case you suddenly can't read" "To reiterate" = "this is the last time I'm saying this" "moving forward" = "Don't try me again" "I've copied ______" = "Let's see you lie your way out of this bitch" "Kind Regards" = "Fuck you" https://t.co/SSOjfNWddi
14.
Years ago I made my phone autocorrect the word “like” so I would use it less. I’ve never accidentally sent a text or email with that autocorrection until today, at work, when I sent this to the Head of HR:
15.
Protip: Never end a work email with “Let me know if you want to discuss” without immediately leaving the building.
16.
“Per my last email” Are definitely fighting words
17.
all group emails in august: person 1: hi everybody me: hi person 3: Thanks for your email! I am currently out of office and will return.. person 4: Hi! I am currently on vacation with limited.. person 5: Hello! I'm away from office until.. person 6: Hi! I am away do not email me
18.
someone at my corporate job had a baby and in the congrats group email some people called it the "newest member of the team" i need to escape this
19.
"Hi folks" is boring so I've decided to start addressing all group emails to "comrades & dragons"
20.
I meant to sign off a work email like this: “Best,” but I typed “Bees,” and I panicked and doubled down on the mistake, “I SAID bees, and I MEANT bees” so I think now I have to spend the rest of my career pretending to be a mass of swarming bees wearing human clothes.