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    Sep 29, 2015

    The Alphabet According To "Gilmore Girls"

    G is for Gilmored.

    A is for Autumn.

    The WB

    Autumn [noun]: the third and best season of the year, and the season that lasts the longest in Stars Hollow (usually most of the year, tbh).

    B is for Babette Ate Oatmeal.

    The WB

    Babette Ate Oatmeal [noun]: a humorous, topical headline of something Kirk witnessed around town. (He's keeping it real.)

    C is for Coffee.

    The WB

    Coffee [noun]: the lifeblood, often served alongside a shot of cynicism.

    D is for Dance-a-thon.

    The WB

    Dance-a-thon [noun]: the social event of the season for four-time winner, Kirk, and arguably the backdrop for the best episode of Gilmore Girls ever.

    E is for Emily Gilmore.

    The WB

    Emily Gilmore [noun]: the HBIC, Queen, Receiver of The First Cup of Tea, Enemy of All Maids Everywhere.

    F is for Friday Night Dinner.

    The WB

    Friday Night Dinner [noun]: a sometimes enjoyable and always eventful weekly gathering of the Gilmore Clan; enjoyability increases with the consumption of alcohol.

    G is for Gilmored.

    The WB

    Gilmored [noun]: a tightening in the chest, accompanied by feelings of anger mixed with paralyzing weakness, most often felt in or shortly after leaving the presence of a Gilmore.

    H is for High School.

    The WB

    High School [noun]: a time period divided into two decided sections known as the Dean Era and the Jess Era.

    I is for I Love You, You Idiot.

    The WB

    I Love You, You Idiot [noun]: a truly adorable and touching way to convey one's feelings, especially if Tristan is sulking nearby.

    J is for Jam Hands.

    The WB

    Jam Hands [noun]: the sticky feeling of a child's hands, regardless of the presence or lack of jam in the household.

    K is for Kirk.

    The WB

    Kirk [noun]: the awkward, beating heart of Stars Hollow; prone to bouts of night terror and fear biting; holder of many, many jobs.

    L is for Luke's Diner.

    The WB

    Luke's Diner [noun]: where we began and where we ended, plus a lot in between.

    M is for Motorcycle.

    The WB

    Motorcycle [noun]: the thing he must have if you're to throw your life away on him.

    N is for Nothing Excites Me Before 11.

    The WB

    Nothing Excites Me Before 11 [noun]: the value all future friends must share.

    O is for Oy With The Poodles Already

    The WB

    Oy With The Poodles Already [noun]: a combination of two very funny words ("oy" and "poodles") to create the perfect catchphrase.

    P is for Pie.

    The WB

    Pie [noun]: the most delicious and beloved of desserts, and the standard by which you must measure all men.

    Q is for Quip.

    The CW

    Quips [noun]: the specialty of Paris Eustace Geller.

    R is for Richard Gilmore.

    The WB

    Richard Gilmore [noun]: the King, Ultimate Grandpa, and Holder of a Special Place in Our Hearts.

    S is for Solidarity.

    The WB

    Solidarity [noun]: the thing you must share with your sisters at all times, regardless of the context.

    T is for Two Glasses Of Wine At Lunch.

    The WB

    Two Glasses Of Wine At Lunch [noun]: something only prostitutes have.

    U is for Underwear.

    The WB

    Underwear [noun]: an entirely optional undergarment, usually indicative of one's mental state.

    V is for Valedictorian.

    The WB

    Valedictorian [noun]: someone who lives in two worlds (one is a world of books), who has kind, decent, unfailingly generous grandparents, and a dazzling mother who serves as a guidepost for everything.

    W is for Where You Lead.

    The WB / Via vulture.com

    Where You Lead [noun]: the direction you go, which I will follow, any-anywhere.

    X is for Xanadu-Level Of Insane.

    The WB

    Xanadu-Level Of Insane [noun]: an extreme amount of insane, but not so much as Francie thinks, because she's a devious drama queen.

    Y is for Yale Daily News.

    The WB

    Yale Daily News [noun]: the Monday-through-Friday paper of Yale University, where Paris broke down, Rory thrived, and Logan napped.

    Z is for Zero.

    The CW

    Zero [noun]: the number of shows that will ever mean as much to you as Gilmore Girls.

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