1. John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight, has officially gone all in on Donald Trump.
2. He didn’t waste any time. He just went right in.
3. Why? Because Trump’s campaign is gaining legitimate steam.
4. Oliver likened this surge in popularity to a scary back mole. Trump is America’s back mole.
5. He called to light that time Trump extended his best wishes to haters and losers on 9/11…
6. …and that time he attacked Jon Stewart on Twitter, and then denied attacking Jon Stewart on Twitter.
7. Oliver compared Trump’s views on the truth to that of a lemur with a banana.
8. And then Trump, overall, to a gold Sharpie pen.
9. Oliver recalled that once, during a deposition, Trump revealed how he calculates his net worth. Through his own “feelings.”
10. Oliver reminded us of the misleading website that was “gotrump.com” or as some might pronounce it, “got rump dot com.”
11. He replayed footage of that time Trump shared his strategy for battling terrorism.
12. And said that a biographer once revealed that Trump’s ancestor changed the family’s name to “Trump” from their original family name, which was “Drumpf.”
13. Yes, Drumpf.
14. Ya know, the sound a morbidly obese pigeon makes when it flies into the window of a foreclosed Old Navy.
15. There you have it.
- It's inauguration day: Donald Trump will be sworn in as the 45th president of the United States around 12pm ET 🇺🇸
- One of the nation's top legal groups is seeking a wide array of records from four federal agencies to challenge Trump's potential business conflicts.
- Notorious Mexican drug lord Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán has been extradited to the United States to face multiple charges.
- Gingers rejoice! A redhead emoji may be coming your way soon 🙌