29 Questions About “Home Alone” That Still Keep You Up At Night

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

1. Why isn’t anyone alarmed by the police officer just, like, chillin’ by the front door?

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Literally no one cares. Easily 2/3 of the family runs by this guy and no one seems to even notice. No wonder they forgot Kevin!

2. Who really expects an eight-year-old to properly pack a suitcase?

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At that age, my suitcase would've consisted of around 36 perfectly coordinated outfits for my favorite American Girl Doll, and absolutely nothing else.

3. Why does everyone expect so much from young Kevin?

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4. Who lets a child drink a Pepsi that close to bedtime?

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5. Why is everyone so mad at Kevin?

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I get it, he’s annoying. But again, he’s just a little kid! Poor Kevin just can’t catch a break!

6. Why is no one at all mad at the teenager for bullying and antagonizing the eight-year-old?

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So is this the one family in the entire universe that blames everything on the younger sibling? As a forever bitter older sibling, I can assure you that this is a very unlikely scenario.

7. Why were Kevin's parents OK with Uncle Frank calling their eight-year old son a jerk? Am I the only one who finds this super inappropriate?

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Not cool, Unlce Frank. Not cool.

8. HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS HOLY DID THEY MAKE THAT FLIGHT?!

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I'm sorry, I know it's just a movie, but I just can't let this one go.

9. Why did no one get mad at this girl for so carelessly miscounting?!

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Weird neighbor kid = clearly not Kevin. Maybe it's just me, but this seems like a pretty massive screw up. You had one job.

10. Why were the police not more concerned?

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I'm not saying that Kevin deserved his 15 minutes on Nancy Grace or anything like that, but they could've done a little more that just dropping by really quick to make sure the place hadn't burned down.

11. How is literally everyone they know out of town?

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Surely one of the, like, 83 kids they had running around with them had a friend or something that stayed in town.

12. How does Kevin know how to construct a proper grocery list, clip a coupon, and do laundry?

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13. What do Kevin’s parents do exactly?

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This is just out of curiosity. They seem to be very well off and Kevin's mom can rock a power suit.

14. Why are the police more concerned with a little boy stealing a tooth brush than a little boy being left at home alone?

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Come on, people!

15. Why does this delivery boy not call the police after (he believes) someone tries to shoot him?

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Also, does no one else work for Little Nero's or is it just a coincidence that he delivered to Kevin's house twice?

16. How does Gus Polinski just happen to overhear Kevin’s mom harrasing that ticket agent?

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I'm just saying. This whole situation is hella sketch.

17. Why doesn’t Kevin’s mom rent a car herself?

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Willing to take the trip to hell to sell your soul "to the devil himself" but not to a Hertz?

18. Why doesn’t Old Man Marley ever ask Kevin where his parents are?

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He runs into this little boy, clearly unsupervised, all over town and he doesn't find it strange that his parents are nowhere to be found?

19. Why doesn’t Kevin go to the police?

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He knows what the burglars look like. He knows what van they drive. He knows they're coming to his house at 9 o'clock. Is he out of his mind?

20. Where does Kevin get a blowtorch?

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When I was eight, my mom wouldn't tell me where we kept the matches.

21. Why does everyone keep saying Kevin is incompetent when he is clearly some sort of boy genius?

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22. How do Harry and Marv recover from those injuries so quickly?

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Maybe I'm a wimp, but falling off of concrete steps onto my back AND getting lit on fire would've put me out for at least, like, a few hours.

23. Why don’t they just give up?

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At a certain point, it's just more trouble than it's worth.

24. When Kevin finally does call the police, why does he send them to the house next door?

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Kev, c'mon. I'm on your side here, but this doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

25. And why do the police never come to question Kevin? — or, like, check up on him, at least?

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As a whole here, I really don't understand any of the judgment calls made by this police department.

26. How did Kevin clean all of that up in just one night?

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Again, not sure what would qualify as a competent eight year old for these people if this kid doesn't make the cut.

27. Why is Old Man Marley reuniting with his family in the middle of the street?

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Although I won't lie, I nearly cry every time.

28. If Kevin's mom has not showered or slept since leaving Chicago at the beginning of the movie, how does she still look this good at the end?!

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Put that hair in a bun and buy yourself an overpriced pair of airport souvenir sweats. Be free Mama McAlister.

29. Which brings us to the most important question of all: how on earth did Kevin’s mom forget him in the first place?

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TWICE.

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