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22 Healthy Dating Tips From Tina Belcher

"Here's a bunch of numbers. They may look random but they're my phone number."

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1. Don't change your appearance.

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If you're not comfortable putting on makeup, don't feel forced to.

2. Drop subtle hints of affection.

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Anything to get to the butt.

3. Practice your suave techniques at home.

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It's important to perfect the art of seduction.

4. Never limit your desire.

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Take up as many men or zombies as you wish.

5. Self-confidence is essential.

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Take pride in who you are.

6. Words are powerful. Use them wisely.

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One wrong phrase can cost you the chance of touching a glorious butt.

7. Role playing can be exciting and adventurous.

Live out your erotic friend fiction fantasies.
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Live out your erotic friend fiction fantasies.

8. Don't stray away from sensual dances.

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[Insert 1940s big band music]

9. Choose a butt you'll never get tired of looking at.

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This is extremely important.

10. Because that can be the butt of your life.

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Butt. Butt. Butt. Butt. Butt. Butt. Butt. BUTT.

11. Don't be afraid to pick up someone in a public place.

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Movie theaters, grocery stores, Dunkin Donuts? The world is your playground.

12. And play the field a little.

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There's nothing wrong with a little zombie lovin'.

13. Turn on the Tina Belcher "charm bomb."

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It's flawless in every way possible.

14. Always keep your eye on the prize.

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Even if it means hiding in a small locker.

15. It's important to remain positive.

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A little enthusiasm never hurt anybody.

16. Never give up on the one you want.

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Especially if you've put in countless fantasy hours.

17. Take a chance, even if you're inexperienced in some areas.

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It can turn out to be the greatest dare of your life.

18. Play it as cool as possible.

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Release your inner DINA.

19. Advertising is a good way to show off your awesome self.

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Don't stray from outlets like Tinder, OkCupid, or game shows.

20. Show your true colors, even if they're a little harsh at times.

But support it with a compliment.
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But support it with a compliment.

21. If someone rejects you, don't let it bring you down.

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Don't let your heart poop its pants.

22. Just get back up and keep trying.

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And kiss ALL the people.

Shine bright like Tina Belcher.

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