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36 Gifts Any "Schitt's Creek" Fan Will Probably Be A Disgruntled Pelican If They Don't Own

Not included: expensive sushi or a cute huge yacht.

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1. A Rose family-printed phone case to protect their most precious device. Otherwise, how would they call Stavros to come get them in his jet?

The white, green, red, yellow, and pink phone case printed with the faces of Johnny, Moira, David, and Alexis

2. A "Love that journey for me" keyring they can carry with them on all their journeys, even if it's just to pick up some soap at Rose Apothecary or get a smoothie from Twyla (be careful).

The silver keyring with a round engraved charm

3. A truly amazing apron to remind them of the most important step in making their family's famous enchilada recipe.

4. Or an equally adorable sticker offering the same ~cheesy~ advice.

The sticker that reads "Fold in the cheese" with a drawing of cheese

5. A romantic stamped cuff bracelet that'd be a perfect gift for your S.O., especially your butter-voiced beau.

Two silver cuffs stamped with hearts and the phrase "simply the best", one of which also has a date stamped on the inside

6. A high-fashion David Rose sweater pin for anyone who understands David's clothes a little better than Patrick's parents do.

The pins shaped like David's lighting bolt sweater, "Radical feminist" sweatshirt, star-print polo, and red, black, and white star sweater

7. The Funko Pop! figure of their fave character they've literally wanted since they first watched the pilot.

8. A stylish Rose Apothecary sweatshirt to help them celebrate an establishment that's ~simply the best~.

The black sweatshirt with the Rose Apothecary name and logo and motto "Handcrafted with care"

9. Or an "Ew, David" sweatshirt that should only be gifted to someone who will automatically read it in Alexis's voice (which is basically anyone who's seen the show).

The blue pullover sweatshirt with "ew, david" written on it four times in increasingly bold white font

10. A David quote mug that is a very big social distancing mood.

The white mug with David's face and black text that reads "I'm trying very hard not to connect with people right now"

11. A cheeky door mat for anyone looking to send a message to their future guests other than "tweet us on Facebook!"

The brown doormat with "Best wishes warmest regards" written on it in black letters

12. A detailed set of coasters that were definitely thought out much more clearly than the ones Johnny tried to have made for the motel. I mean, you can still tweet them on Facebook if you want.

The six coasters, five of which have pictures of a different character (David, Alexis, Johnny, Moira, and Stevie) and several of their best quotes, and one of which reads "Rose Apothecary handcrafted with care simply the best" with the store logo

13. A vinyl sticker commemorating the two greatest insults ever spoken.

The sticker, with a silhouette of David's face and the words "Eat glass!" and a silhouette of Alexis's face and the words "Lick rust!"

14. Or a sassy magnet to express the same sentiment to their roommate headed to the fridge to steal their leftovers.

A hand holding a rectangular magnet featuring a portrait of David and the words "Eat glass"

15. A cozy Rose Apothecary throw blanket that deserves to be displayed in the front of the store, right next to the plungers.

The black fringed blanket with the Rose Apothecary logo that reads "Rose Apothecary Handcrafted with care"

16. An initial necklace just like Alexis has, befitting any Lamborghini/Hollywood Star.

The gold oversized initial necklaces in A, B, and C

17. A pair of squee-worthy David and Patrick stud earrings for anyone who fully ugly cried through the whole wedding.

The stud earrings of David and Patrick's faces

18. A minimal-chic Rose Apothecary soy candle available in the scent of your choice, but no matter which you choose, it will smell about as flammable as drunk Stevie.

The jar candle with a label that reads "Rose Apothecary one of a kind"

19. A Moira Rose for town council pin for anyone who's ready to participate in a slightlyyyyy less stressful election (not to minimize the drama of "stolen" lawn signs, of course).

The rectangular black and white pin that reads "Elect Moira Rose Town Council"

20. A genuinely incredible The Crows Have Eyes 3: The Crowening T-shirt to gift to your brave friend who survived the harrowing premiere of the instant horror classic.

The black and red short sleeve tee with a poster for the movie featuring crows, an Interflix logo, and Moira Rose's name

21. A LOL-worthy wineglass that'll be a huge mood when you reach for a bottle of Herb Ertlinger's finest.

The stemless glass that reads "This wine is aw-ful get me another glass"

22. A fun tote bag even more awesome than the ones they give out at Rose Apothecary, because it's covered with delightful quotes and artwork references from every season of the show.

The white tote featuring quotes like "David, the pedals make it move," "It's my turn to take a selfish," and "Eat glass" and graphics like a slice of cheese, a pride flag, and a pelican

23. A useful Rosebud Motel notepad they can use to draft to-do lists for Roland, take messages for Ted's clinic, and jot down all their meetings etcetera.

The notepad, with the Rosebud Motel log at the top and subheading "Elmdale County Schitt's Creek roadside lodging." At the bottom it reads "Manager Johnny Rose, Proprietor Stevie Budd"

24. An enamel pin featuring one of the greatest lines in television history (yes, even better than anything ever said on Sunrise Bay).

The pin of Moira's face and the words "Stop acting like a disgruntled pelican"

25. A colorful "I am positively bedeviled with meetings etcetera" sticker they can pop on their computer to let people know that their to-do list couldn't possibly take any Moira-dditions.

The sticker with the quote over a multicolor watercolor background

26. A pair of David Rose-worthy round sunglasses that would pair perfectly with any number of black and white sweaters or a Café Tropical baseball tee.

27. A set of favorite quote pencils any student in Jocelyn's classroom or at Elmdale college (or pretty much anywhere else) will be able to put to good use.

A set of black and gold embossed pencils that read "Ew, David," "Eat glass," "Fold in the cheese," "Follow us on Tweeters," and "I'm sorry I'm not a condom"

28. An empowering sticker emblazoned with another one of my favorite lines in the entire show, for anyone who has ever suffered heartbreak at the hands of Sebastien Raine.

A sticker featuring the quote written on a pretzel

29. A chic onesie for any bébé who wishes Moira could be their godmother (ummm...does it come in grown-up sizes?).

Black and white onesies that read "the bebe"

30. A chic art board print honoring an acclaimed actress and the last four digits of her husband's credit card.

The small black print with a white rose and white text that reads "The Moira's Rose's Garden 4856"

31. A fun set of sticker sheets with several of the show's best quotes in illustrated form. They should go ahead and decorate everything in their life with them so everyone will know their taste is as good as David's (though that may result in them getting dragged on some unwanted trips to the Blouse Barn).

Sheets of stickers including a wine bottle that reads "I like the wine, not the label," a sign with "My best to Bob Cratchit," and "It's my turn to take a selfish" surrounded by flowers

32. A fabulous graphic tee paying homage to the best critically reviewed reality show of all time that'll remind you hide both your diamonds AND your exes.

The pink tee with Alexis's face and the text "A little bit Alexis"

33. A stamped "Ew, David" necklace that's delicate enough for them to wear it as an everyday homage to their favorite show.

A reviewer wearing the gold rectangular pendant necklace stamped with "Ew, David" layered with another necklace

34. Or an "Ew, David" dad cap for anyone whose dad is the successful founder of Rose Video.

A faded black hat with a black, white, and orange design showing David giving side eye and the text "Ew, David"

35. A punny "Funds n' Roses" scented candle with notes of fruit wines, fitness cults, and milk money to help them cultivate an entrepreneurial spirit that Johnny and Ronnie alike would support.

The white candle in a ceramic cup illustrated with themed doodles, including a silhouette of Johnny

36. And an iconic Schitt's Creek town sign canvas print featuring the Rose family that's perfect for anyone who missed this sweet last shot of the finale because their eyes were too puffy from crying, which...understandable.

When someone says there's such a thing as too many Schitt's-related prezzies:

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