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21 Stories From 4chan That Are Masterpieces Of Literature

Throw out all the books on your shelves because they're hot stinking garbage compared to these.

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1. A story with the most unexpected twist ending.

Pepe the frog, patron saint of the Green Text Story.
Matt Furie

Pepe the frog, patron saint of the Green Text Story.

"Green text stories" on 4chan are a style of anecdotes that are usually either embarrassing or triumphant.

While one could turn up one's nose at these stories as bawdy mutterings on a sordid internet site, wouldn't it be much better to recognize them as heartrending works of literature that deserve our consideration and close reading.

Here are a few of these beautiful stories that are just as good as real books.

2. This is like 12 times as romantic as a Nicholas Sparks novel.

3. This act of literary vandalism turns into a story about the exhilaration of a man fighting for his freedom of expression.

4. The tale of the toilet paper mummy:

5. Please just appreciate the madness that lust brings on in our faithful narrator:

6. Oh, this story sounds totally stupid? Ever heard of a little guy named Sophocles and his play Oedipus Rex?

7. Do you not feel the pathos for the child here? Does it not tear at your heart?

8. The sins of the father and "horny doritos":

9. You could write your master's thesis just about the use of the word "reeeeeee" here.

10. This story of a boy and his Swedish chocolate milk called O'boy is like an O. Henry story.

11. This story of absurdity and triumph will move you to tears.

12. This is like Gatsby's library full of books except with a bottle of lotion.

13. Here is a truly chilling ghost story.

14. The simplicity of this short story creates a whole world in 3 lines.

15. Imagine the anguish and turmoil this caused! There's a whole second book about what happened after!

16. This is basically like The Odyssey but with showering and toaster strudels. It may be the greatest story of our generation.

17. Quite precisely, the premise of all memoirs:

18. You couldn't ever make up something as crazy as the twist at the end of this hard-boiled detective story.

19. Perfect.

20. "People saw."

21. Lastly, could there be any better short story than this? NO. THERE COULD NOT.

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