Micropenis is the term for when a penis is 2.5 deviations from the average penis size. According to Dr. Joseph Alukal, assistant professor of urology and director of male reproductive health at New York Univeristy's Langone Medical Center, this means 3 centimeters (1.2 inches) when "stretched" while flaccid.
"A micropenis can be due to other related urologic or hormonal abnormalities, some of which patients are born with," Alukal said. "Other patients are just born with it (for no particular reason). Men with micropenises should still have normal functionality in terms of getting an erection or urinating."
The 14 women here are not medical experts able to diagnose abnormal penile conditions, so take their stories as personal experiences, not medical descriptions of micropenis (there are other conditions like "inconspicuous penis" or "buried penis" that can be confused for micropenis. Also, just, like, pretty small ones). While the actual condition is somewhat rare (about 1 out of 200 men, said Dr. Alukal), a fair amount of women had been with a guy they believed had micropenis when I asked around to friends, colleagues, and strangers on Twitter.
The theme that comes up over and over in these stories is that the only thing that matters at the end of the day is whether or not the guy is jerk — if he was a nice guy and attentive and generous in bed, the size didn't matter.
I dated a guy with a very small peen for about a year. The first time I saw it I was surprised, but it didn't faze me that much. The first time we had sex was the only time we had actual penetrative sex — for the rest of the time we dated, we engaged in oral sex only. I didn't mind this at all — he was really good at what he did! And besides, the penetrative sex was kind of awkward for us both; we just didn't find a good rhythm and thus neither of us enjoyed it that much.
I think he probably focused on learning the other skills to compensate for his lack of size, but we never discussed that. All in all, it was a really satisfying relationship for me!
My encounter happened this year, so of course initial contact was on Tinder. I thought it odd in the beginning (though it makes sense now) that he wanted us to get to know each other and go on a few dates before sleeping together. But he was also clear about wanting a relationship instead of a random hookup, so I thought he was just being old-fashioned. I am a Scorpio and tend to jump right into bed, so I found his insistence on waiting frustrating, sweet, romantic, and silly. But it worked.
Also, the first time we slept together he went down on me first and it was soooo amazing that when he took his pants off, I honestly didn't care about the micropenis. There was, like, a second of "Huh, how is this going to work?" but we had chemistry and I was so into him and he was so clearly into me that I figured we'd figure it out. The sex-sex was a little awkward because of his small size — really we could only seem to nail it (pun intended) doggy style. But OMG, he made up for it in some serious cunnilingus skills and, as a lady with a short vagina, for me it was a relief that he could go to town and I never had to worry about pain.
Bottom line: He was a generous and giving lover who cared about my pleasure, cared that I came more often than him (!), and knew how to get me there, and really, what more could a girl want? So my advice to ladies is: Embrace the micropenis. Giving head was never so easy and at least this guy knew that a woman's pleasure isn't all about the peen.
We didn't work out for a myriad of reasons, but none were micropenis-related.
I was a a terrible sorority girl in college, I barely showed up to anything. I decided to go to this one exchange (when a frat and sorority join together and dress up according to a theme) and just have fun. It was a great night, and I met this cool guy. He was funny, clever, a little bit chubby — basically my dream guy.
We're making out and he's saying all the right (sexy) things. We get back to his place and the clothes come off. At first I thought he wasn't hard but then we started to have sex and I realized the truth. For me, decent sex with someone I have a connection with is way better than mind-blowing sex with a jerk-off. And I'd much rather have a great guy with a small penis than a douchebag with a large one.
The sex was OK (I mean, it felt like someone was knocking on a door but not pushing through, you know?), but there are so many other things you can do to each other's bodies to make it good. Problem was, he was definitely insecure about it and couldn't finish. He didn't even want me to touch it to help him. I could only imagine what had happened to him beforehand to make him so nervous about his manhood, which sucked because I definitely wasn't going to be a bitch about it. Oh, well.
So I was at a monthly rock 'n' roll dance party at a local bar when I saw him: the tall, dark, and handsome boy I had a mild crush on when I was in high school. We started talking and catching up, then dancing, then making out. Turns out, he is a videographer for a local group of magicians and the magic studio was literally next door, so being drunk and stoked on mutual horniness, I was like, "Sure, what the hell? Let's go."
We arrived and, for whatever reason, he thought it would be hot to have me sit on his lap and watch videos of magic tricks. Whatever. His seduction technique was so risible that I thought, Oh, what the hell, this will make a good story, let's do this thing, so we made our way to the couch in the darkness.
I undid his pants, put my hand on his dick, and realized it was probably no longer than four-fifths of my palm, and I have pretty small hands. He noticed my confusion and actually said to me, "Don't worry, it gets bigger" (it didn't). Suppressing laughter (not exactly at the size of his penis, but that he actually warned me about it), I continued to make out with him.
Unbeknownst to me, he was jacking himself off in the darkness and came on my really cool dress. I was pretty pissed. I made him buy me and my friends pizza afterward. What an asshole, jacking off onto my dress.
I once dated a guy for a year and a half with a micropenis. It was...fine? I was young and I suppose I didn't know that I was in the presence of a true-life micropenis. The sex was OK because he tried really hard and also he was REALLY RIDICULOUSLY HOT, so that offset the micropenis concerns.
On a side note, there was another guy in my hometown who was well-known for having a micropenis — but it wasn't really a problem for him because at the same time that he had a micropenis, he also had a reputation for giving really good head. So there's that.
I have had two experiences with really, shockingly small penises. The first was with someone I very much liked and dated and he was well aware of his deficiencies and went above and beyond in other ways. Namely, he went down on me for hours and always asked if there was anything he could do and was generally great about it. So after we broke up for non-small-dick-related reasons I kept a pretty open mind about the tiny ones.
Cue to several months later I'm about to sleep with a guy I've gone on several dates with. His is even smaller than the first but I don't say anything because I would die if someone said something to me on first coitus about my genitals. But I literally feel nothing when we fuck. And he does nothing to even try to help me out. And when it was over he was like, "Did you like that?" And I was like, "Actually no," and then suggested he might want to help me out.
I leave it alone and the next time I'm like, OK, surely he'll attempt to give me an orgasm in another way, and he does not. And I stop him and explain he might want to, and he's confused and then I'm like, "Well I didn't feel anything last time." "Are you saying I have a small dick?" "Well you do," I say.
And then he screams, "MAYBE YOU JUST HAVE A HUGE VAGINA," and then I left.
(For size, guy No. 1 was maybe 3 inches hard and guy No. 2 was literally 2 inches. And a normal condom looked like a muumuu on it.)
It was 2006, and he was the first guy I dated after initiating my divorce. I was 26; he was a few years younger, but not young enough to explain how very, very small his penis was, because that would have meant I was having sex with a toddler, which, as anyone who watches Law & Order SVU knows, is super illegal.
We'd been dating for a couple months. We'd had a lot of sleepovers that involved above-the-waist making out and cuddling and whatnot, but I was taking it pretty slow (well, slow for me) because I was freshly separated. I started to have feelings for the guy and eventually felt it was time to do The Sex.
We were on his bed, and he took off his underwear in front of me for the first time. And I swear, the first thought I had when I saw his penis was, Birth defect? I clearly remember thinking that exact sentence fragment. It was the size of my thumb.
This is probably a good time to explain that I have clubbed thumbs. So, to give you a clear visual: Fully erect, this guy's penis was the size of one of Megan Fox's thumbs.
Needless to say, I didn't really feel much during the actual intercourse. I gave it another shot a few days later, just to see if my eyes and vagina were playing tricks on me. They weren't. I asked Jeeves about especially tiny penises, and the results made it pretty clear that I'd experienced the elusive microphallus.
The micropenis wasn't the main reason I stopped seeing him. It wasn't even the second or third reason. It's not like he could help it; and from the way he didn't mention it, I almost wonder if he wasn't aware of his relative size. Ultimately, our age difference and his clinginess became an issue, and I decided to move out of New York and back to Florida for a while to be near my family post-divorce.
The micropenne (my own personal name for this phenomenon) in question belonged to a fling. This guy was tall, maybe 6-foot-4, and devastatingly attractive. One of those guys I would definitely say was out of my league.
We had really great kisses at the bar the first time we went to bed, and I was looking forward to dealing with a decent to substantial penis later at my place, given his height, huge hands, and feet. So far so good. We get to the moment of unveiling. My reaction was a complete poker face. I don't judge the body of the person I go to bed with. Bald? Fine. Hairy back, hairy butt? Sure. Weird nips? No problem. Tiny penis, same. We did not discuss his penis. He did compliment my body.
The act itself wasn't satisfying to me in the usual way, but the experience of being with him was, and I did go back a few more times after. It worked just like any other penis, although the condoms didn't roll down very far. That said, I felt very little. (No pun.) He did go down on me, which could have been a nod to the lack of satisfaction with P-in-V sex, and I don't remember giving him head, but I certainly would have if he had asked.
My advice to ladies is: Do not be judgmental, just go with it. Small penises need love too. This ended up being only a fling for reasons completely unrelated to sex, but if it had been possible for us to continue I would have.
When I graduated from college and moved back home, a guy I'd kept in touch with since high school wanted to hang out. He'd gotten a woman pregnant and had a baby a few months prior, but he and his ex were no longer together, he said, and because I'd always had a crush on him, I agreed.
After hanging out a few times, we wound up back at his place, where long-awaited fooling around ensued. Clothes were removed, and he told me to get on top... Not my first choice, but OK. I climbed up there and just...like...couldn't find it. When I touched it, I was horrified. "Is it hard?" I asked. "Yeah!" he said. "Wait — do you have a condom?" I asked. His answer: "Nah! That's gonna make it go down!" "It's already down!" I said, followed by, "Take me home."
I was: a) in shock that it was actually that small (and flaccid) and b) genuinely confused as to how he had gotten someone pregnant. So that was it, no further fooling around, no more attempts. To be fair, his lack of interest in safe sex was even more of a turnoff.
[Ed.: Men who refuse to wear condoms should be put in a cannon and fired at the moon.]
My encounter with the micropenis occurred maybe six or seven years ago, with my former theater camp boyfriend whom I'd occasionally fool around with when he was in town. We'd almost had sex once before and that was the first time I saw it and was like, "Wow, you are pretty pretty pretty small." But I don't think I'd seen quite enough phalli at that point to have much of a basis for comparison.
Fast-forward two or three years or so and I'd been slutting it up on the reg for a while. He came back in town, and we went to my house and started having sex. At this point I DID have a basis for comparison, and I was like, "Yeahhhh not only is this unusually small, but it probably medically qualifies as a micropenis" — an impression that was cemented when I asked him to put it in and he was like, "...Yeah, it's in already." Which is so SATC that you probably think I'm making it up, but sadly I am not.
ANYWAY, we had sex, and it was horrible, but mostly due to other factors. For one thing, he came in like 2.5 seconds flat; for another, he wasn't wearing a condom, which led to a really awkward field trip to procure Plan B afterward, etc. etc. All of those things were much worse than the fact he had a tiny dick by, like, a lot. At the time, I really liked him, so had all that other stuff not happened, I don't think his penis would've been that big of a deal breaker.
Also, he didn't really make much of an effort to compensate for his shortcomings in other arenas, meaning he didn't go down on me or finger me, like, at all. If I were a wizened old lady sitting in a rocking chair and giving warm maternal advice to someone with a micropenis (wow, never thought I'd type that), I think I'd say that it's totally fine, and you are not doomed to an awful and unsatisfying sex life — provided you acknowledge that you have this handicap, and do the work required to overcome it and make your partner happy. I've been with other guys with small dicks, and we've had really awesome sex because it seems like they have implicitly known this, to a degree. This guy (the micropenis-haver) did not.
It was my semester abroad. He was INSANELY SEXY and had a foreign accent which, obvs, only made him a lot sexier. I was so drunk that I thought haggling with the cab driver over ONE DOLLAR in the native language would impress this sexy, foreign man. While we were hooking up, I discovered this teeny tiny little penis. We did not have sex, but he pleasured me in other ways. (My then-roommates can testify to the fact that I was pleasured. And no, the decision to not have sex was not because of his small penis. I was just 19 and not having sex with guys the first time I met them...yet.)
The size of his peen was not discussed. And you know what, he was so good-looking and smart and lovely, I do not regret it one bit. He is now, according to Facebook, happily married and a father. Good for him and his small penis!
My experience with the micropenis in question was a friend of a friend, and someone I hooked up with just twice. His size, alas, was never discussed — we were just casually hooking up, so discussing that type of thing wasn't exactly par for the course — and I was taken aback a bit when his pants came off, mostly because I had never seen one that small and was afraid I wouldn't know what to do next. (It was also a surprise because, as ignorant as this sounds, he also had a very confident, sort of cocky personality, so I thought he might be packin' it? IDK.)
The details are a little murky, because the two times we got together I'd had more than a little booze in my system, but I realized that sex (and orgasming!) was doable as long as I was on top and sort of rocking back and forth on it without too much of an up-and-down motion, lest it fall out. So I guess the trick is really not to move too much when you're dealing with a micropeen inside you, which is nice when it's summer and hot out (which it was at the time, and he didn't have AC) and you don't want to sweat too much.
I had been dating this guy and we went on a couple dates and then one day we went back to his place for the ubiquitous "let's watch a movie at my place" date. Pretty soon clothes are coming off and I see this little nub, maybe about 1 inch on a generous scale, in the crotch area. He was uncircumcised too, so I was super confused as to what was going on down there. I started feeling him up down there, thinking he was a grower and not a shower, since there's no way that a penis could be literally just a head sticking out of a crotch (it was about the size of the top half of my thumb, and I have smallish hands, for size comparison). I think the volume of the foreskin might have been more than the total volume of the head itself.
After about 30 seconds of my confused, hopeful rubbing, he came and then made some comment about how endurance was never his strong area, and he never proposed sex, which was polite of him, I guess. Yeah, that's about it.
I tell all my friends that we stopped seeing each other for various other reasons because I'm way too embarrassed to admit that I gave a handy to a guy with a micropenis (there were a few other reasons too, but it was definitely a factor in my overall decision).
Oh, the balls were normal size from what I can tell.
So my first (and only) run-in with a micropenis happened my sophomore year of college. I was fresh off of a breakup and ended up back at a friend of a friend's room. Things started heating up and I moved my hand *down there* and was totally confused/shocked by what I found. Since the drunk brain is a stupid one, I continued to "search" for more, thinking that maybe I was grabbing a third ball. I did my best to give him a hand job (not that those are ever too great) but didn't take it any further than that.
I wouldn't be OPPOSED to hooking up with someone with a small penis, but this guy just wasn't making up for his lack in size in any other ways (he was totally selfish in bed and not the brightest bulb).
One of the women who provided a story asked to have her name changed to anonymous.