1. Standing on your feet for eight-hour shifts until the heels of every last pair of shoes you own is ruined.
2. Getting to be the parent of dozens of adults, who apparently lose the ability to hang and fold clothes once inside a mall.
5. “OK just wait a sec—” “No, just—” “It’s not ready quite—” “OK try now.”
6. If you weren’t anal-retentive about organization before, you are now!
8. Hovering around the jean wall, supervising any customer who dares take a mid-pile pair off the shelf.
9. Wishing that, just once, you could scream “WE ARE ABOUT TO CLOSE.”
10. Having to get something from the back, by yourself, and getting literally terrified every time.
It’s too weird back here!!!! All these body parts and boxes!!!
11. Cool, random spills you find in the aisles!!! Thanks for letting us know!
12. Taking off sensors sure is easy and not at all dangerous!!!
14. Accumulating a lifetime supply of name tags because you forgot yours. Again.
15. Finding these on your body/clothes/hair days after your last shift.
21. People handing you cash from all sorts of ungodly places.
22. Being asked if you mind if they use up some of their change.
23. Hating small children like you’ve never hated anything before in your life.
- Miami Marlins star pitcher José Fernández has died in a boating accident. He was 24.