15 Struggles Only Reptilian Overlords Understand

Oh no, got photographed with my slit eyes showing again, FML.

1. This guy is always trying to blow your cover.

David Icke / Via davidicke.com

2. You don’t know whether this figure should be comforting or depressing.

I mean it IS supposed to be a secret, but… I don’t know, you almost have to feel bad for the sheeple.

3. Knowing you could turn the wrong way, or close your eyes weirdly, and your true identity as a Reptilian Overlord could be revealed to the public.

Dammit. Caught having a jaw again.

4. When you yawn just a little too wide and accidentally reveal your multiple rows of poisonous fangs.

Ahahaha oops.

5. Everyone is always comparing you (unfavorably) to Beyoncé.

We can’t *all* be Class A Reptilian Overlords AND widely adored, beautiful, multimillionaire popstars!! Somebody’s gotta do, like, the bookkeeping.

6. Having to sit next to this guy at the quarterly meetings.

We get it. Total Earth invasion isn’t possible without a teen outreach program.

7. Knowing it’s only a matter of time until Master Rihanna just TELLS everyone.

It’s like she’s not even trying to keep the New World Order a secret.

8. Scrolling through Tumblr and happening upon all the super dorky fan art.

Come onnnn, dude, those horns are pathetic.

9. … and the memes.

We’ll see how much you laugh when you’re on the Pain Train back to Planet Nibiru.

10. Having to turn in domination reports to your non-physical or ‘spirit’ dimension bosses.

Get off our backs, 6th dimension. Subverting a planet from within takes time.

11. Seeing rumors that certain undesirable humans are associated with The Brotherhood and not being able to correct them.

God, we don’t cross-breed with *everyone*.

12. You can’t bring your favorite mug to work.

Everyone will see it.

13. You can’t make a casual doctor visit without some creep making a big deal of it and uploading the video on YouTube.

No, you don’t have a fever. COLD blood, remember? Lol.

14. Nor can you simply roll out of bed and go to the diner for breakfast and read the paper.

You can get dressed and go, of course, but sometimes it’s just like, putting on your human flesh takes soooo loooooong.

15. You’ve never known true love, because the human beings you seduce and impregnate in order to populate the Earth with reptilian hybrids don’t (can’t) know the REAL you.

Colleen Chen / Via colleenchen.com


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