15 Animals That Only Come Out At Night And In My Nightmares
Streaming nature documentaries was all fun and games until I started developing phobias of the animals.
1. The aye-aye looks like a tarantula mated with a monkey and it is nothing if not nightmare fuel.
Whatever you do, don't imagine the aye-aye running those spindly fingers through your hair.
2. The Indian flying fox, which grows up to 6 feet tall, is the only thing worse than a blood-sucking bat.
This bat could make a killing on swamp dating apps with that height.
3. The tarsier looks like it can see through time and space...what does it know that we don't?!
It actually doesn't know much – the Tarsier's eyes are larger than its brain!
4. The binturong smells like buttered popcorn (?!), but is carnivorous and will eat just about anything in sight.
Hailing from southeast Asia, the binturong is also commonly and horrifyingly known as a bearcat.
5. This Leopard slug mating ritual is unfortunately forever burned into my brain.
I am not here to kink shame, but something about hanging upside down from secreted mucus to mate feels off to me. That large blue tube popping out of the slugs head is actually its penis...
6. When the opossum is triggered or stressed it "plays dead." I, too, play dead when I see this beady-eyed beast.
The "O" is not there to trip up your spelling – opossums and possums are different animals.
7. The pangolin will curl into a ball of natural armor to defend from predators, but what can we do when we see a pangolin?
In all seriousness, pangolins are a Critically Endangered species often poached for their scales or meat. In 2020, the Chinese government increased restrictions against the consumption of the species as well as uses of pangolin scales in traditional medicine.
8. Tarantulas and their hairy little legs can haunt your dreams for decades during their 30-year lifespan.
I wonder if anyone has told the millennial tarantulas we're doing middle parts now...
9. Moray eels, AKA water snakes with two rows of teeth, are known for their vicious bites.
Yellow eyes and sharp teeth? This eel is basically the Edward Cullen of the sea.
10. Deathstalker scorpions can and will end your life with just one sting.
The only thing more dangerous than a scorpion is a Gemini. Boom, roasted!
11. Tasmanian devils have a bite strong enough to cut through metal or bone!
No wonder Bugs Bunny is always messing with this guy!
12. Millipedes are an example of something I wouldn't touch in one million years.
Dear Hollywood, please never ever make a "Human Millipede" film franchise.
13. The cuttlefish looks like the last thing I would ever cuddle.
The cuttlefish can see from behind so there's nowhere to hide from this ocean dweller.
14. Real aardvarks look nothing like their cutesy PBS recreation in Arthur.
The aardvark can add 12 inches to its height just by sticking out its tongue.
15. Naked mole-rats are also a lot grosser than Disney would have you believe. Rufus was portrayed as an "adorable" naked mole-rat in Kim Possible.
Is it me or did this rat look like a– never mind.
Well...off to go bleach my eyeballs!
