1. Walking anywhere View this photo on Instagram instagram.com Why would you walk anywhere when you can get there twice as fast on a bike? Thanks, Germany, for teaching me the ways of efficiency. And for all the bike lanes. 2. Doing food shopping on a Sunday Flickr: streetpreacher Everywhere in Germany is closed on Sunday, which means if you don't get all of your shopping out of the way on Saturday, you'll probably starve. 3. Wearing trackies out in public View this photo on Instagram instagram.com Being the practical beings that they are, Germans will wear tracksuit bottoms for "making sports" (exercising) and making sports alone. No more slobby Sundays. 4. Making a run for it without the green man Flickr: 16782093@N03 Jaywalking is against the law in Germany and people actually obey that law. To avoid being the odd one out, and getting shouted at by an old lady, it's best to wait for the green man too. 5. Popping over to someone's for a cup of tea Flickr: zachinglis Heaven forbid you ask a German to make you a cup of tea. Them pulling out a box of various fruity teas they've owned for the last 5 years will be enough to have you sticking to coffee. On the plus side, most German households have fancy coffee machines, so there's that. 6. Being too polite View this photo on Instagram instagram.com If you open a door for someone in Germany, you will stand there for 20 minutes while puzzled Germans pass you wondering if you work for building security. 7. Eating warm dinners View this photo on Instagram instagram.com In Germany it's quite common for dinner to consist of bread, pork, spreads, and possibly bretzels. This is a basically a good excuse to take an extra long lunch break and have a midday feast. 8. Carelessly throwing things into the bin Flickr: mdvisser Recycling is HUGE in Germany, with most households having 4+ bins for different things. First there's the plastic one, then the cardboard, then the bio waste, then the glass bottles, then the plastic bottles, and THEN the rest of it goes into a different bin. Confused yet? 9. Beating around the bush. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF giphy.com If you aren't direct in Germany then you won't get very far, which means you quickly have to adopt a much more direct way of talking. On the plus side, this means you're far more likely to get what you want. 10. Complaining about public transport Via Flickr: 38365223@N03 After living in Britain you'd be mental to complain about a public transport system that is so smooth it's surely been coated in butter. 11. Being sarcastic View this photo on Instagram instagram.com Even though most Germans speak fluent English, sarcasm is often lost on them in conversation. It's best to avoid it, in case you're taken seriously and have to explain your humour, which we all know is painfully awkward. 12. Ignoring strangers in enclosed spaces Via Flickr: derricksphotos Not only do people greet each other when they are in small spaces together here (like a lift or waiting room), but sometimes they make small talk or tell jokes. Imagine! 13. Wearing a dress or shorts out come rain or shine View this photo on Instagram instagram.com You'll only find people in dresses or shorts here during the really hot period of summer, which means panic buying shorts, skirts and dresses as soon as February's over is just not a thing. 14. Entering a shop without greeting a shop assistant Via Flickr: shankaronline If you don't say hello when you enter a shop in Germany, you're basically the rudest customer ever and the shop assistant will be visibly pissed with you. You're also supposed to say goodbye when you leave. 15. Eating cheddar Flickr: loop_oh It's not easy to find cheddar in Germany, because they have such a large selection of other and (in their opinion) better cheeses. To be fair, they're right. 16. Assuming that being a few minutes late is the same as being on time Via Flickr: listentothemountains If I had a euro for every time a German person told me how late British people are, well, you get the point. Your German friend WILL text you if you are 2 minutes late to check you're still coming. 17. Hanging out with friends with the TV on in the background Via Flickr: williamhook When Germans have guests over, they sit around the table and talk. Without the TV on. In fact, it's considered very rude to watch TV if you have guests over. 18. Avoiding dental appointments Via Flickr: illuminaut In Germany, your dentist will force you to set new appointments and seek treatment for anything less than perfect teeth. 19. Drinking too much on a night out View this photo on Instagram instagram.com In England, we all have one friend who looks after the drunkest person on any night out. If you get too drunk in Germany, your friends will let everyone know you're British. It's like a secret code that explains your behaviour to other Germans. The shame.