back to top

22 Secrets Au Pairs Will Never Reveal

We bribe your kids. Sorry.

Posted on

1. As soon the host parents go out, we bribe their kids with chocolate and late bedtimes.

instagram.com

It may look like we do, but we don't actually have ~special powers~.

2. We usually roll out of bed about five minutes before having to do the school run.

Stick a big pair of sunglasses on, and no one will know the difference.
imgur.com

Stick a big pair of sunglasses on, and no one will know the difference.

3. And after lunch, we nap until school pick-up time.

Running around after kids is tiring, OK?
imgur.com

Running around after kids is tiring, OK?

4. We spend the whole week counting down to the weekend, so we can hand the kids over and get smashed.

We're so responsible all week that come Friday, we're desperate for a large glass of wine (or five).
imgur.com

We're so responsible all week that come Friday, we're desperate for a large glass of wine (or five).

Advertisement

5. But that’s not to say it has to be a weekend for us to let our hair down.

Walt Disney

We’ve all rolled it at 3am, steaming drunk, only to have to take the kids to school a few hours later.

6. As soon as our host families announce they're going away for a bit and need us to house-sit, we arrange a house party.

giphy.com

You've got to make the most of living in a nice house, right?

7. Sometimes we have more fun doing the kids' activities than the actual children do.

instagram.com

Seriously though, kids' museums are the most fun.

8. But we also have a secret hiding place to smoke, snack, or text while we're supposed to be working.

giphy.com

We need to keep up to date with what's happening with our friends back home on Facebook.

Advertisement

9. When the host parents ask us to pop to the shops while they watch the kids, we'll take at least 10 minutes longer than necessary.

If we're given a moment of peace, we're going to make the most of it.
imgur.com

If we're given a moment of peace, we're going to make the most of it.

10. Despite our job title, a lot of us aren't actually that fond of kids.

Most of us have never worked with kids before. For us, it's all about the cultural experience and not the job. Plus, kids are just ridiculous at times.
imgur.com

Most of us have never worked with kids before. For us, it's all about the cultural experience and not the job. Plus, kids are just ridiculous at times.

11. We're doing the job because we get to live in a really nice house in a banging city for a year.

Walt Disney / Via giphy.com

And we kinda wish we could do it forever.

12. There's nothing more annoying than people thinking an au pair is the same as a nanny.

CW / Via giphy.com

Nannies are full-time, and au pairs are temporary. And we earn a fraction of what nannies earn.

Advertisement

13. If one of the host parents confides in us about something personal, we truly feel like we're one of the family.

Warner Bros. / Via giphy.com

14. But because of the kids, we're usually more aware of our host family's gossip than the parents realise.

NBC / Via giphy.com

We know about every argument, indiscretion, and awkward social faux pas. They may not have noticed, but their kids haven't quite learnt how to be discreet yet.

15. Everyone thinks we spend our weekends soaking up the culture and practicing our new language with our foreign friends.

instagram.com

And we do...sometimes. But we spend a lot of weekends in bed, binge-watching Netflix, too.

16. But when it comes to the end of our year abroad, we suddenly go nuts and try to tick everything off our bucket list before we leave.

GK Films / Via giphy.com

"WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING WITH THE LAST YEAR OF MY LIFE? THERE'S SO MUCH LEFT TO SEE!"

Advertisement

17. There is never a more disappointing moment than when the host family announces they're going on a "health kick".

But mostly it just means we have to snack in secret, so the kids don't know.
Walt Disney / Via giphy.com

But mostly it just means we have to snack in secret, so the kids don't know.

18. We either LOVE our host family's extended family...

instagram.com

"YES GRANDMA! PLEASE COME AND BRING ALL THE CAKES!"

19. ...or they don't really get us or our general presence.

ET / Via giphy.com

"That's fine, just pretend I'm not here. Totally cool."

20. When the old au pair comes to visit the family, we can't stomach how jealous we feel.

"Do the kids like her better than me?"
Walt Disney / Via imgur.com

"Do the kids like her better than me?"

21. When our times come to an end and we have a "handover period" with the new au pair, things can get a bit weird.

There's a fine line between wanting to help them and not wanting them to do a better job than us.
CW

There's a fine line between wanting to help them and not wanting them to do a better job than us.

22. But above all, we're immensely sad to leave.

Universal / Via giphy.com

Because being an au pair is probably one of the coolest jobs we've ever had, and we'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.