19 Things About "The Lone Ranger" That Are Way Worse Than Johnny Depp Playing Tonto
If you were afraid that Depp's portrayal would be racist, well — yes. But he's still the best thing in this terrible movie. SPOILERS!
It leans so, so, so heavily on symbols from the show.
You would think Silver (he's not named until the end, but we get it) could just be a horse
The silver bullet also makes a number of appearances
And though it's not from the show, the damn bird on Johnny Depp's head? References to it take up approximately half the movie.
Speaking of which: "Kemosabe"
Poor Tom Wilkinson
The Lone Ranger strives for big ideas
There's also a lot of talk about justice and the law
Despite its violence, somehow there's never any actual jeopardy
There is, however, a lot of violence directed at Rebecca, the Lone Ranger's sister-in-law/love interest
Here she is again with psychotic villain, Butch (William Fichtner)
Native Americans are massacred a bunch
Butch is a cannibal?
Other toilet humor
Random weirdness, part 1: A homophobic tinge
Random weirdness, part 2: Silver in a tree
Random weirdness, part 3: Helena Bonham Carter's entire character
The movie's narrative frame
Did I mention? It's almost 2 1/2 hours.
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