Skip To Content

    19 Things About "The Lone Ranger" That Are Way Worse Than Johnny Depp Playing Tonto

    If you were afraid that Depp's portrayal would be racist, well — yes. But he's still the best thing in this terrible movie. SPOILERS!

    1. It leans so, so, so heavily on symbols from the show.

    2. You would think Silver (he's not named until the end, but we get it) could just be a horse

    3. The silver bullet also makes a number of appearances

    4. And though it's not from the show, the damn bird on Johnny Depp's head? References to it take up approximately half the movie.

    5. Speaking of which: "Kemosabe"

    6. Poor Tom Wilkinson

    7. The Lone Ranger strives for big ideas

    8. There's also a lot of talk about justice and the law

    9. Despite its violence, somehow there's never any actual jeopardy

    10. There is, however, a lot of violence directed at Rebecca, the Lone Ranger's sister-in-law/love interest

    11. Here she is again with psychotic villain, Butch (William Fichtner)

    12. Native Americans are massacred a bunch

    13. Butch is a cannibal?

    14. Other toilet humor

    15. Random weirdness, part 1: A homophobic tinge

    16. Random weirdness, part 2: Silver in a tree

    17. Random weirdness, part 3: Helena Bonham Carter's entire character

    18. The movie's narrative frame

    19. Did I mention? It's almost 2 1/2 hours.