1. The fucking value of the Canadian dollar.
2. This fucking insane comparison between U.S. and Canadian cell phone plans.
3. This generous fucking offer from Bell.
4. This super duper great offer from Fido.
5. This totally fucking rad comparison between Canada's biggest telecom companies.
6. Americans complaining about the fucking cold.
7. And shutting down cities because of a little fucking snow.
8. When we see what ACTUAL, ball-freezing weather is like.
9. When we get a REAL Canadian snow storm and are expected to go into stupid work anyway.
10. The size of this mothershitfuck hail stone.
11. This motherfucking Tim Hortons bagel with cream cheese.
12. And this fantaaaastic donut from Tim Hortons.
13. And this cup of Tim Hortons fucking coffee.
14. These generous holiday hours given to Tim Hortons employees.
15. This personal affront to Canadian cuisine.
16. This pathetic fucking attempt at poutine.
17. The fucking price of fucking cauliflower right now.
18. And the stupid-ass cost of cucumbers.
19. This bullshit message.
20. And this equally bullshit message.
21. This insane fucking statement.
22. This heartbreaking news.
23. This goddamned fucking price difference.
24. The cruelty of this Canadian Tire sale.
25. This incredible cost-saving Canadian Tire sale.
26. Or this one.
27. This costume at the 2014 Miss Universe contest.
28. This Canadian monster.
29. The goddamned Canadian Tire guy from the early 2000s.
30. This fucking map of Canada, which just completely fucks up what Canada fucking looks like at either end.
31. The fucking price of flying to the States vs. the fucking cost of flying within Canada.
32. Finally, the fucking Canadian offering at the World of Beers.
Seriously, just fuck right off.
CORRECTION: The Miss Canada costume from the Miss Universe contest above is from 2014. A previous version of this story listed the year as 2015.