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32 Things That'll Piss Canadians Right Off

Aw geez, no, you can fuck right off, bud.

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1. The fucking value of the Canadian dollar.

Google

2. This fucking insane comparison between U.S. and Canadian cell phone plans.

(This was an older plan that's no longer available, but trust us — things have not improved dramatically since.)
Via imgur.com

(This was an older plan that's no longer available, but trust us — things have not improved dramatically since.)

3. This generous fucking offer from Bell.

Via imgur.com

4. This super duper great offer from Fido.

Via imgur.com

5. This totally fucking rad comparison between Canada's biggest telecom companies.

Via imgur.com

6. Americans complaining about the fucking cold.

7. And shutting down cities because of a little fucking snow.

New York Times / Via nytimes.com

8. When we see what ACTUAL, ball-freezing weather is like.

@MaxTheCutePom / Via Twitter: @MaxTheCutePom

9. When we get a REAL Canadian snow storm and are expected to go into stupid work anyway.

This car isn't getting out anytime soon #snow #Canada

10. The size of this mothershitfuck hail stone.

Yikes, that's pretty scary RT @BraydonMoreSo: Golfball sized Hail South of Virden, Manitoba. #mbstorm

11. This motherfucking Tim Hortons bagel with cream cheese.

Via imgur.com

12. And this fantaaaastic donut from Tim Hortons.

Via imgur.com

13. And this cup of Tim Hortons fucking coffee.

Katie Sullivan / Via Twitter: @Sulli_xo

14. These generous holiday hours given to Tim Hortons employees.

15. This personal affront to Canadian cuisine.

Ellen Sim / Via Twitter: @EllenJSim

16. This pathetic fucking attempt at poutine.

Wendy's poutine: value fries and a small chili topped with shredded cheese. I also call it a "Keystone Pipeline."

17. The fucking price of fucking cauliflower right now.

Via imgur.com

18. And the stupid-ass cost of cucumbers.

19. This bullshit message.

YouTube / Via youtube.com

20. And this equally bullshit message.

Topaz Sampson / Via instagram.com

21. This insane fucking statement.

CBC / Via cbc.ca

22. This heartbreaking news.

Huffington Post / Via huffingtonpost.ca

23. This goddamned fucking price difference.

24. The cruelty of this Canadian Tire sale.

@warrenhaight / Via Twitter: @warrenhaight

25. This incredible cost-saving Canadian Tire sale.

26. Or this one.

Rayan Dkhil / Via Twitter: @RayanDkhilFLY

27. This costume at the 2014 Miss Universe contest.

Chanel Beckenlehner, Miss Canada 2014, during the Miss Universe Preliminary Show in Miami, FL Jan21,2015 - Reuters

29. The goddamned Canadian Tire guy from the early 2000s.

Canadian Tire / Via youtube.com

30. This fucking map of Canada, which just completely fucks up what Canada fucking looks like at either end.

Gerry Hall / Via Twitter: @gerry_hall

31. The fucking price of flying to the States vs. the fucking cost of flying within Canada.

Stephen Dyrgas / Via Twitter: @stephendyrgas

32. Finally, the fucking Canadian offering at the World of Beers.

Brianne Perez / Via instagram.com

Seriously, just fuck right off.

CORRECTION: The Miss Canada costume from the Miss Universe contest above is from 2014. A previous version of this story listed the year as 2015.