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19 Tweets About Canadian Tire That Will Make You Go, "So True"

"I am laughed-at-a-Canadian-Tire-commercial years old."

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1. On new features:

Canadian Tire now offers life insurance... that you can roll up with an elastic, stick in a kitchen drawer, and never use.

2. On collecting:

Is my brother laundering Canadian Tire money? Is this the "family business" he was bragging about when he was drunk?

3. On exchange rates:

Canadian Tire money is now worth more than the Canadian Dollar

4. On foreign value:

Canadian Tire money is now worth 10 times more than the British pound

5. On aging:

I am laughed-at-a-Canadian-Tire-commercial years old

6. On swagger:

Walking home from Canadian Tire with paint cans made me feel like John Travolta in the opening credits to Saturday Night Fever.

7. On departments:

If you ever wondered what eating in the Apocalypse will be like, Canadian Tire has a Food section now.

8. On valuable skills:

I only know how to install ceiling fans because of my 5 years at Canadian Tire. That weird ceiling with all the light fixtures? THAT WAS ME.

9. On genius ideas:

You know what would make Canada a better place? If Tim Horton's accepted Canadian Tire money.

10. On locations:

Just off the Ivory Coast and need patio furniture? Canadian Tire has you covered.

11. On the first signs of the holidays:

Christmas in Canada - snow, poutine, and a burning hated for the never-ending procession of Canadian Tire commercials.

12. On feeling rich:

You know that feeling when you find money in your pocket? Well, its not the same when it's Canadian Tire money.

13. On employees:

Apparently your smartphone is tracking your in-store movements for retailers. Which is more than in-store employees at Canadian Tire do.

14. On retiring:

Study finds Cdn retirees are better off than American ones. Because they have an extra retirement fund in Canadian Tire money.

15. On merchandise:

So, like, every box is already opened at Canadian Tire, right?

16. On fan fiction:

"Ever dance with a shovel in the pale moonlight?" - The Joker, trying to sell a shovel, during his first floor sales shift at Canadian Tire

17. On podcasts:

On the next episode of Serial: Canada Scott MacDonald spoke poorly about a Newfie in a Canadian Tire parking lot.

18. On holiday gifts:

Yes, nothing says Happy Mother's Day like giving mom a wooden block full of knives. Thanks but no thanks, Canadian Tire!

19. And on dads:

88% of the nation's dads are currently in the Canadian Tire 'Screws and Fasteners' aisle