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    27 Tweets That Are, Quite Frankly, Going To Make You Chuckle

    These tweets are silly or relatable, and sometimes they're both.


    Mother: can you please fix my computer Me: *leans back in chair* well... well ... well ... if it isn’t Miss β€˜Get Off That Computer’ Years 1994 to 2006



    Dude I’m the worst when it comes to packing for trips. Like I know I won't need 20 pairs of underwear for a 5 day trip but what if I pee my pants twice every single day I'm there


    My sister is dating a guy named trey so every time I see him I wish him good luck at his basketball game tomorrow and every time he tells me he doesn't play basketball and doesn't know why I keep saying that



    Im a 20 year old Interior decorator from Oregon Help me by Retweeting my next client might be out there πŸ˜­πŸ‘‹πŸ€—πŸ™Œ




    [as firefighters arrive to help me out of the baby swing] hey guys


    new lacroix flavors! -transported in a truck near bananas -hint of hint of lime -single skittle dissolved in water -shy watermelon -imagine like, a strawberry but with low battery


    someone called Country Music "Farm Emo" and now I can't unhear that


    (second date) me: [eager to show off new tattoo] remember how you said you liked garlic bread


    honestly πŸ™ˆπŸ‘€ getting pregnant is so dumb πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™„ like just don't eat the baby lol πŸ˜πŸ€”πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


    me driving: β€œi’ll hit you bitch” me walking: β€œhit me bitch”


    *demon tries to inhabit my body* Demon: OUCH Me: yeah... Demon: WHAT THE HELL Me: I know Demon: EVERYTHING HURTS, WHY?? AND WHATS WRONG WITH THIS SHOULDER??? Me: idk man, can I offer you a mint?


    The way my dog eats watermelon is everything πŸ˜‚


    GOD: 8 ANGEL: 9! GOD: We shouldn't do this drunk ANGEL: 10 lol GOD: 15!! ANGEL *mouthful of pizza* 25 GOD: 30!! CENTIPEDE: *tearing up* stop giving me legs, I look stupid GOD: ONE HUNDRED LOL ANGEL: LMAO



    this morning at 7eleven i saw a woman slip a donut onto her own finger and mutter β€œlook who’s married now, mom”


    i am: βšͺ️ straight βšͺ️ gay βšͺ️ bi πŸ”˜ pregant? πŸ”˜ pragnent? πŸ”˜ pargant? πŸ”˜ gregnant? πŸ”˜ pegnate?? Help!? πŸ”˜ pegrent? πŸ”˜ pregegnant? πŸ”˜ pregonate? πŸ”˜ prengan? πŸ”˜ prregnant???? πŸ”˜ can u get pregante...? πŸ”˜ pergert? πŸ”˜ will my get pragnan? πŸ”˜ if a women has starch masks


    Retweet if you don’t scream at the top of your lungs every time someone walks past your house, I’m trying to prove a point to my dog.


    me, seeing a raccoon: oh aren’t u a handsome trash boi the handsome raccoon: charges at me at full speed me, screaming and sprinting away: ur still handsome, mad garbage man


    Monday: Greg Tuesday: Ian Wednesday: Greg Thursday: Ian Friday: Greg Gregorian Calendar.


    [doing group photography] ME: now let me take one without the flash THE FLASH: what the- REST OF JUSTICE LEAGUE: wait let's hear him out


    I just have a hard time understanding polyamorous relationships. Like, how’d you get more than 1 person to like you? That’s not a thing.


    i like big butts and i cannot lie, my brother also likes big butts and cannot tell the truth, how will you escape our dungeon


    as a child i thought i'd have to deal with the bermuda triangle a lot more than i have in my adult life

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