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15 Animals That Will Make You Say, "Not Today, Satan”


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3. Cthulhu larva

Also known as Scotoplanes, sea pigs, or, in my mind, "fuck right off please, fuckity bye." Cthulhu larva eat by extracting food particles from the ocean floor, but nothing will convince me that these things won't suck my brain out if given the chance.


8. Deep-sea hatchetfish

They're called hatchetfish because their bodies are shaped like hatchets, and it's probably a better name than "soul-eating fish of the damned." Guys, Ursula's garden from The Little Mermaid is REAL.

9. Wrinkle-faced bat

Even Dracula would take a look at these fruit-eating bats and be like, "NO THANK YOU, GOODBYE."


12. Fangtooth fish

These toothy nightmares live deep down in the ocean, and their teeth-to-body ratio is the biggest of any fish known to man. THE BETTER TO TASTE YOU WITH, MY DEAR.

13. Giant isopod

They're the gigantic ocean relatives of the woodlice, and they can live for years without light or food. That's because they're only fueled by one thing: REVENGE.