1.
[on date] "I think we should take this a step farther" Actually, farther implies distance, while further is figurati- *date already left*
2.
I feel attacked
3.
me deleting the oxford comma from a post so it meets the character limit
4.
Writer: "Is it 'firsthand' or 'first hand'?" Editor: "Either one is fine."
5.
Foreplay is like a semicolon; even if you don't totally understand how it works, you should try it every chance you get.
6.
Hire more copy editors.
7.
someone: hey could you let me know if i need a comma here? me, has a B.S. in linguistics: do u feel a comma in your heart
8.
I handed her the flowers. “You shouldn’t of!” she said. I took them back. “Have,” I whispered
9.
Spider-Man's greatest weakness is punctuation.
10.
People with good spelling and grammar have typo-negative blood
11.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage
12.
I just ate, my kids couldn't be happier. I just ate my kids, couldn't be happier. Grammar IS important, people.
13.
I don't like being called a "grammar nazi". In future, please describe me as "alt-write".
14.
Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy. I love to eat capitalization.
15.
[my wife talking to the cops over my corpse] He saw the quotation marks and thought they were being ironic.
16.
COMMAS AREN’T PEOPLE. https://t.co/dO1EzRygNw
17.
I used to love correcting people's grammar until I realized what I loved more was having friends.