Here's What Happens When You Order A Large Pizza Just For Yourself
Should I yell out "pizza's here" so the delivery guy thinks I have roommates?
1. I'm hungry.
2. But... I don't have any food in the house.
3. Even if I did, I definitely don't want to cook.
4. I could just order pizza. That's a thing I could do.
5. I have been trying to eat healthier, though. Maybe I shouldn't.
6. Maybe I'll just look at their specials.
7. Oh, this all looks so good.
8. Yep. Ordering pizza. This is happening.
9. I'm only ordering for myself. At most, I should order a medium.
10. Hmm. But the medium and the large are the exact same price.
11. I'd practically be losing money by ordering the medium, right?
12. And if I get vegetables on it, it's pretty much a well-balanced meal.
13. Am I really going to order the large?
14. Yes. Yes I am.
15. In the name of financial responsibility.
16. I'll just eat a few slices, and then save the rest for lunch tomorrow.
17. And for dinner. Obviously.
18. And I want dipping sauce. I'm not a monster.
19. The pizza place is just around the corner. I should save a few bucks and just go pick it up myself.
20. But that means I'd have to put on pants.
21. And possibly a bra.
22. Delivery it is!
23. OK, 40 minutes until pizza.
24. I'll just watch an old episode of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix while I wait.
25. Ugh, Ghost Denny was such a stupid storyline.
26. You're hallucinating your dead fiancé, Izzie! You clearly have a brain tumour!
27. Ooh, pizza will be here in ten minutes.
28. Oh, wait. I'm still going to need to put pants on to open the door.
29. Does the pizza guy care if I'm wearing pyjama pants? Probably not.
30. Oh! The apartment buzzer's going off.
31. The pizza's here early!
32. Oh, you're getting a good tip for that, pizza guy.
33. Oh shit, I need to get pants on before the delivery guy gets to my door.
35. Shit shit shit!
36. OK. Pants on. Good.
37. Should I yell out "pizza's here" so the delivery guy thinks I have roommates?
38. I do have a cat that is technically my roommate.
39. Wait. This guy has been delivering pizza to me for six years.
40. He knows that nobody else lives here.
41. He's even pet my cat before.
42. Not like that, you perv.
43. Wait, who am I correcting? I'm by myself.
44. I really need to move to a place where food delivery people know nothing about me.
45. Yes, pizza guy, I'm ordering pizza again. You don't have to say it out loud.
46. Yessss, I have pizza.
47. OK, I'll just eat two slices.
48. Or three. Yeah, three. That's still within the realm of non-garbage-person, right?
49. Mmm, pizza.
50. No, kitty, this pizza is not for you! This is my pizza.
51. Oh my God, Izzie, TELL SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE CANCER.
52. Whoa. Those three slices disappeared quickly.
53. I'm not super full yet.
54. It's not HORRIBLE if I have another three, right?
55. Who's going to know?
56. All right. Another three, and then I still have two slices left for lunch tomorrow.
57. I'm still being responsible. This is fine.
58. You know what's delicious? Dipping the actual pizza into the dipping sauce, not just the crust.
59. I am so grateful nobody can see me right now.
60. Oh, FINALLY Izzie is getting treatment.
61. She's a doctor, right? Why is she an idiot?
62. I should have ordered more dipping sauce.
63. Or special ordered it to replace the tomato sauce with the dipping sauce.
64. OK, I am kinda full now. Not entirely, but satisfied.
65. Am I really going to leave those two slices for tomorrow?
66. It's the responsible thing to do.
67. On the other hand… pizza.
68. You know what? I'm owning this. COME TO ME, YOU CHEESY DELIGHT.
69. OK, at this point even I have to admit I'm full. But I've come too far to stop now.
70. I have to see this through.
71. If Izzie Stevens can ignore painfully obvious signs that she has a brain tumour, I can finish this pizza.
72. I believe in myself.
73. Ugh. I did it.
74. I can't believe I ate the entire pizza.
75. I'm full. I'm really full.
76. I regret nothing.
77. ...That is not entirely true.
78. Augh, it was so delicious, though.
79. I'll start eating better tomorrow.