Buzz·Posted on Oct 21, 201821 Tweets That Are Both Funny And SadHa ha... oh no.by Kat AngusBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. Ryan Patricks @Ryan_Patricks My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car. 07:56 PM - 06 Aug 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. lindsay elizabeth @lindsay_fuce A haunted house but instead of scary monsters its 15 ppl asking u what u are doing with ur life & who u r marrying oh wait thats tnksgiving 11:10 PM - 31 Oct 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Not Sara @smithsara79 Me: *slapping my older brother in the face with his own hand* haha stop hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself Sister-in-law: *crying* is this why you wanted an open casket 04:31 PM - 11 Dec 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. the pan-midwesterner @panmidwest [buying a dog] hi yes i want to be absolutely devastated in like 11 years or so 02:03 AM - 16 Jan 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. Eric Sprankle, PsyD @DrSprankle I finally got my average resting heart rate down to 65 beats per minute. Only 65 more to go. 02:02 PM - 19 Jul 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Mormonger @Mormonger Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s 10:22 PM - 18 Mar 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Optimize Your Life @MattLaneWrites I graduated from law school 6 years ago with $250,000 of student loan debt. But after years of hard work and tens of thousands of dollars of payments, I can officially say that I now owe $315,000. Hooray! 03:30 PM - 18 Sep 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. jack @jackdwagner the next call of duty should be a realistic RPG that starts with you working at little ceasars and an army recruiter lies to you at the mall 02:35 AM - 01 Sep 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. Tyran @KuntJuice I am so Humble ❤ im not bragging but i just wanna thank god i went from living paycheck to paycheck to saving up enough money to purchase a data plan that allowed me to download this picture 🙌🙌 https://t.co/ZdS1Yjasb5 04:33 PM - 22 Mar 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Wilfredo @smells_fine Me: please grab some updog on the way home ExWife: for the last time the kids and I are never coming back Me: not much what's up with you? 12:27 AM - 30 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Mike Bianchi @Mike_Bianchi Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop. 12:50 AM - 01 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. jaboukie young-white @jaboukie me to my anxiety: people are focused on themselves. they're not thinking about you depression: ever me: that's not what i meant 11:01 PM - 18 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. rudy mustang @rudy_mustang God: then you become a butterfly Caterpillar: wow. the rest of my life as a butterfly God: yeah lol the "rest" Caterpillar: how long God: Caterpillar: how long God 04:30 PM - 19 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. the hippo account @InternetHippo Kids, stay in school and get a good degree so you can spend 40% of your life on conference calls 07:11 PM - 29 Jan 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Frankie Boyle @frankieboyle You’ll grow up not every really knowing if you deserve love, but one day you’ll meet someone who loves you, and you’ll be able to accept yourself. Then, once they really get to know you, they’ll find you unbearable and leave, but the important thing is to stay hydrated. 05:46 PM - 20 Jul 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. TechnicallyRon @TechnicallyRon Let’s play a game of MILLENNIAL MONOPOLY. The rules are simple, you start with no money, you can’t afford anything, the board is on fire for some reason and everything is your fault. 09:10 PM - 06 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Scott Dodds @itsBOMBARDIER me at 14: can’t wait to travel the whole world once i’m earning my own money me now: mustn’t forget that tupperware at work, it’s my only one 07:33 AM - 22 Jun 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. rav @Doughbvy doctor: [handing me my new born baby] I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it me: [handing baby back to him] bring me the one my wife made 11:40 PM - 14 Aug 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad A job is more than a paycheck. It's also a place where you cry in the bathroom 08:21 PM - 04 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. mel @anemicfatty me at 6 y/o: bilingual, genius iq, mentally healthy, able to do math me at 18 y/o: illiterate, health is nonexistent, and needs a calculator to solve 6+8 06:00 AM - 30 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Bob Vulfov @bobvulfov [concert] SINGER: hows everyone doin tonight CROWD: woo ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): it's actually been a tough few months 05:02 AM - 09 May 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite