1.All these happy people are really bumming me out.
2.I am not going to be pleased if something jumps out at me from this ship.
3.Did they put in this submarine part just to freak the audience out?
4.So could anyone just find treasures from the most famous shipwreck in the world?
5.So, this old lady is Rose?
6.How long is this intro section? It seems excessive.
7.If I were Rose I would be a bit more cautious about going on boats.
8.Is the granddaughter going to fall in love with this treasure hunter?
9.The guy explaining the crash is kind of a dick.
10.Did they rebuild the Titanic for this movie? Probably costly, but you gotta go big or go home.
11.Could her hat BE any bigger?
12.It seems like the treasure hunters probably just wanted the story from when the ship sank, not this whole love story…
13.What if this other guy has lice Jack!?!
14.You're gonna die, those people are gonna die, you might live, that group is dead…
15.So vest-guy is the dick fiancé, right?
16.How many people do you think died just trying to run this ship?
17.You can't see the statue of liberty, you idiot.
18.Oh wow, "the king of the world" came in very early. Unexpected.
19.Victor Garber looks so young!
20.I like Kathy Bates/Molly already!
21.Love at first sight!
22.Classic, sad little rich girl. No offense, but I don't really feel bad for Rose. We know she survives at least!
23.Isn't it ironic that she was gonna drown herself, and then she ends up being one of the few who doesn't drown?
24.Nothing calms a suicidal girl like a hot guy. Feminism.
25.Maybe he shouldn't be urging her to do it. I don't think that is the best plan.
26.Imagine if she would have just slipped. Would have saved some time at least.
27.Taking his hand seems to be the unsafest way to get back over.
28.Oh crap! She did slip. That'll teach her.
29.Oh, there is the sexism I was waiting for!
30.Pocahontas! I knew I recognized Cal's voice from somewhere.
31.Jack comes on quite strong, eh?
32.So because Jack painted a one-legged prostitute he just couldn't have been in love with her? Rude.
33."Purpose of university is to find a suitable husband." This is why I might have to do postgraduate studies.
34.She needs to be taught how to ride with one leg on each side of the horse? It seems pretty self-explanatory.
35.Good thing Molly has a son and not a daughter.
36.Rose has got some terribly expensive, and yet, terribly awful dresses.
37.I'm gonna start greeting everyone with "Hey, Aster!" It just sounds good, especially when yelled across a packed dining room.
38.I wish I had the charm Jack has in his pinky finger.
39.Horseback riding and dancing. I wish I had Rose's fears.
40.I think he was lying to Cora.
41.Her stepping isn't as impressive without shoes…
42.Seems like the Titanic was a good place to meet someone. Too bad most of them will be dead by the end of the movie.
43.So Cal is basically slut-shaming her into doing what he wants?
44.Forbidding her is always a good idea.
45.Oh, they're broke! Classic!
46.Rose can do math! Doesn't she know she is a woman!
47.Is Victor Garber supposed to be Irish?
48.Jack seems to have fallen a bit too fast.
49.On this giant ship how did she know he would be at the front of the boat?
50.OH MY GOSH! MY HEART WILL GO ON IS PLAYING!!! I was not prepared.
51.You would think with the experience she just had on the back of the boat she would be a little more cautious around railings.
52.That CGI sky is pretty good for the nineties.
53.Oh my! Kissing makes it even more dangerous! People in love are real idiots.
54.Why are we back to the old lady?
55.Jack didn't put up much of a fight about drawing her naked.
56.I would not be able to sit for a picture like this. I would get soooo bored.
57.Is "My Heart Will Go On" playing again??
58.No one needs to hear their grandmother describe "the most erotic moment of her life."
59.Slow down!! You idiots! Stop being so prideful!
60.What does the man servant plan on doing when he catches her? Spank her?
61.They are having way too much fun running away from this guy.
62.Who cares about danger when you're in love? Idiots.
63.To the stars? She does know this is a car, right?
64.The lookouts don't have binoculars? They might as well have put a blind guy up there. Would have saved time I'm sure.
65.Was that hand thing supposed to be sexy? Movies usually do that when someone is being murdered.
66.I'm glad they got to do it before Jack dies. Or else it wouldn't have been real love.
67.It is still cheating even if your fiancé is a dick.
68.I did not realize they played this song so much!
69.If the last thing I saw was two people making out I would not be as happy about it as those look outs.
70.Crap! This is where it all goes down.
71.This movie is only half over and the ship is already starting to sink?
72.What's that idiot doing at the front of the boat?
73.So they didn't even try to turn?
74.Is this it? Do they hit another one? What is going on?
75.Rose thinks he stole it? She turned on him quite quickly.
76.Oh, Cal is back to slut-shaming.
77.The captain seems super chill about his situation.
78.Seems like they maybe should have practiced lowering the boats.
79.OOOOOOHHHHH SNAAAAAP!
80.Glad she learned that spitting trick.
81.Do you think Rose and Jack said each other's names enough?
82.There's no time to kiss! Get out of there!
83.I completely understand that guy's hurry. I would be getting out of there too.
84.I don't like how calmly the ship is sinking.
85.She didn't have to punch that guy either.
86.Yeah, go super slow down the stairs. You have time.
87.Only took her about half an hour to lose that stupid jacket/sweater thing.
88.Why did she close her eyes before swinging?!?
89.Those musicians are great! I am sure they die, but I wish they wouldn't.
90.Sexism sucks, but the women and children policy is pretty nice.
91.Cal isn't going to let him in on the deal, is he?
92.The song is playing again!
93.Letting your competition die is a pretty good way to make sure you get the girl.
94.I was not prepared for all these emotions. I knew they were all going to die.
95.Wait, she took the last spot on one of the few remaining boats just to jump off. She is such an idiot!
96.I'm gonna be honest: I think I could have gone.
97.A gun seems like an overreaction. Like, just leave them be and save yourself man.
98.Grabbing that kid didn't really seem like a two-person job.
99.No matter the situation they just continue to yell each other's names. That never helps!
100.Just think about how many people have drowned already.
101.I like how much of a decision it was for that guy to help them out of the locked door.
102.Oh shoot, he didn't even help them!
103.It only took two hours of sinking for this crewman to realize that money won't help him when he's dead, eh?
104.Seems like Will took the easy way out.
105.Oh, I thought Cal was gonna be a good guy, I guess not.
106.Do you think they built the set sideways like that or just turned the cameras?
107.My sarcasm is not blocking my emotions right now!
108.Maybe the instruments will save the musicians.
109.Seriously though, how did they film this?
110.Why did James Cameron ever think it would be a good idea to have people watch this?
111.Cal is probably wishing he would have taken the time to put on his life vest.
112.How are the lights still on? That is pretty impressive when you think about it. The Titanic may not have been able to handle an iceberg, but it could handle some darkness.
113.Not the good china! This is too much!
114.I don't think I will ever go on a boat again.
115.It's good to have trust in your lover, but being a strong swimmer seems more important right now.
116.Why are these two always punching people? They're having a rough day too y'know.
117.Look at all that room!
118.I thought I recognized that guy! He is from 101 Dalmations!
119."Make lots of babies??" That seems like a weird goal to give the love of your life while you are dying.
120.Why does he get to say his goodbyes and she doesn't? That seems a bit unfair.
121.Forget about Jack, call the boat over!
122."Never let go" is a metaphor guys because she clearly let him go down into the Atlantic.
123.After all that they still had them separated by class? People never learn.
124.I don't think you'd get away with lying to border control like that nowadays.
125.I totally called the granddaughter and the treasure hunter. They are for sure a thing.
126.That old coot had the necklace the whole time!?!
127.Ok, crazy lady! It's not like somebody could have used that money and would have liked to see it.
128.So basically Rose needed a man to show her that she didn't need a man?
129.The musicians are alive if only in her memories!!!
130.So, she's dead then?
131.Don't you think that her actual husband might have been waiting for her after she died?
Overall I liked this movie a lot more than I was expecting, but that doesn't mean it stopped me from making a few too many sarcastic comments.
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