1. The phrase "desperate times call for desperate measures" is your motto.
2. You're a baller...on the inside.
3. You don't worry about FOMO.
4. You are filled with regret.
5. You know you're better than this.
6. You cry yourself to sleep thinking about how long it'll take you to pay off your student loans.
7. But you just KNOW you'll get there someday.
8. You mutter the word "someday" more often than you're willing to admit.
9. Avoidance is your best friend.
10. You're completely aware of how terrible your financial situation is.
11. You know what really matters in life.
12. Grocery shopping stopped being fun years ago.
13. You know the value of a dollar.
14. Scrolling through Instagram is as close as you get to going on vacation.
15. You're all about that window shopping life.
16. You're not above lying to children.
17. Or to the dedicated employees of Costco.
18. You are unreasonably angry with anyone younger and richer than you.
19. Your bank account is the only thing keeping you humble.
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