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    Updated on Aug 22, 2020. Posted on Oct 1, 2014

    18 Panic-Inducing Moments Every Thirtysomething Has

    "Where'd that mole come from?"

    by ,

    1. When the last of your single friends gets married and you come to the realization that you will die alone.

    NBC / Via

    OK, maybe it's not that dramatic, but you get the point.

    2. When you realize that drinking just two beers will give you a hangover.

    E! / Via

    Open bar = open the window because I'm about to puke.

    3. When you realize you’re the oldest person at the singles table at a wedding.


    "Any of you kids want a Lactaid?"

    4. When you run into a friend you haven’t seen since you were both in your early twenties and they look OLD, and then you wonder if you look the same.

    20th Century Fox / Via

    "There's no way I look like that, right? RIGHT?"

    5. When you explain your life situation to someone and they say, “Well, at least you’re not 40 yet.”

    Universal Pictures / Via

    Wait, what does something happen at 40 that I don't know? Does even more stuff change? Tell me!

    6. When you’re shopping at the hip clothing store and the clerk asks if you are shopping for your kid.

    Colombia Pictures / Via

    OK, never shopping at Urban Outfitters again.

    7. When all your adult friends are talking about their mortgages, and you realize you don’t even have a savings account.

    NBC / Via

    Mortgages? Like in Monopoly?

    8. When your “skinny” jeans become your “no way are you ever fitting in these again” jeans.

    Universal Pictures / Via

    It was fun while it lasted, jeans.

    9. When you realize that tattoo you got in college is slowly moving toward the equator.

    Walt Disney Studios / Via

    By this rate it will be on your foot in four years.

    10. When you realize your 401k is that box of Beanie Babies in your parents' basement.


    They have to be worth something, I suppose.

    11. When you spot a mole, and you can’t tell if it's old or new.

    Paramount Pictures / Via

    Of course you immediately assume the worst.

    12. When you see kids wearing Nirvana T-shirts in the same way you once wore a Doors one. / Via

    FYI: Today's kids are as far removed from Nirvana as you were from The Doors.

    13. Or worse yet, when you realize the hot new pop star is young enough to be your child. / Via

    "Hold up, how is that even possible? Oh wait, never mind just did the math in my head."

    14. When one of your young co-workers mentions their favorite childhood TV show, and you realize that you were in college when it first aired.

    NBC / Via

    "Yeah, I know that show All Those Thornberry Stevens. I'm still hip." – A clueless you.

    15. When you unexpectedly get a backache — FOR NO REASON.

    CBS / Via

    All I lifted was a bag groceries!

    16. When you realize you made plans for Saturday night, and all you really want to do is stay home in bed and watch Netflix.

    Cartoon Network

    Once I put my sweats on there is no way you're getting me out to some loud bar. Sorry not sorry.

    17. When you realize you are older than your parents were when they had you, and that they already had their shit together at that age.

    BBC / Via

    Maybe it was just an '80s thing?

    18. When you get your invitation to your 20-year high school reunion.

    Buena Vista Pictures / Via

    Oh god, please let there be an open bar! I'll suffer the hangover consequences later!

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