1. 1. Professor Plum - Clue
I don’t think those are real glasses, sir. Or a real book. Or pipe. Stop looking at me like that. Wait, why is this door locked?
2. 2. Mr. Monopoly AKA Rich Uncle Pennybags - Monopoly
Only a sexually depraved billionaire would have “Get Out Of Jail Free” cards at his disposal.
3. 3. This Doctor - Operation
He’s clearly wearing boxers and no shoes. ‘Nuff said.
4. 4. This Dude - Stratego
Fascinating two-handed strategy game? Where’s the other hand, bro?
5. 5. Joel - Girl Talk
“It’s raining out, girl. Why not come inside and have a root beer while I tell you about hanging with the Ski Club. I won’t bite, unless you want me to.”
6. 6. Mr. Mint - Candyland
I know what you’re thinking; Lord Licorice is the obvious lecher in Candyland, right?
Wrong. I mean, who wears over-alls with turtlenecks? Danish librarians and perverts, that’s who, and I don’t think Mr. Mint is a Danish librarian.
7. 7. Patrol Boat - Battleship
You sneaky little bugger, always the last to get sunk. What’s that? You want to call it a draw and grab a few mimosas? I don’t think so, sailor.
8. 8. The Orange Hippo - Hungry Hungry Hippos
“…and that’s when Pink Hippo realized Orange had been staring at Green for quite some time, the appetite in his eyes hungry for something else.”
9. 9. Blank Tile - Scrabble
“Come on, baby! I can be whatever you you need me to be. You complete me by letting me complete you.” Gross.
10. 10. Everyone - Guess Who
Guess who’s the pervert? All of them. Well, except Robert, who’s clearly uneasy in this group.
11. 11. Daddy - Don’t Wake Daddy
From the look of things, the game should be called “Don’t Walk In On Daddy When He Has The Door Shut.” Also, that cat looks scarred for life.