1.
BOYS! get ur eyebrows threaded !! not only will it improve ur looks by 600% but also hurts like a bitch and u all suck and deserve to suffer
2.
why the fuck would u wanna go big when u can go home
3.
So this morning I was hanging out with my boyfriend and he turned to me and said "who do you think will get married… https://t.co/OH3sqZExgX
4.
Ladies bear with me I haven't slept enough this week but if we hide all the guns in our vaginas, Congress will HAVE to regulate them!!!
5.
Hey old rich powerful pervs, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. (consequences walks out from backstage) (crowd loses their minds)
6.
Whenever I don't like one of my friends new boyfriends, I always wonder if Eva Braun's friends also used the line "He seems....nice."
7.
8.
Deactivating
9.
Exes are kind of like celebrities in that they are strangers about whom you know many jarring personal details
10.
My current chapter in life is called: Does He Like Me or My Tweets?
11.
I feel like Daylight Savings Time could be the final straw for a lot of us this year.
12.
Sex is intimate and sacred. Your body is a temple and you shouldn't share it with anyone who doesn't love Rihanna.
13.
I found it. The pic that sums up how I feel every morning when I read the news:
14.
