This is the 1967 Seventeen Book of Fashion and Beauty. It's a guide for teen girls and all things they should aspire to be, or something.
With your legs straight together in front of you.With your legs curled underneath of you to the side.With your legs crossed at the knee.With your legs crossed at the ankle.
"Cross your ankles if you like, but never your knees. Why? Try it in front of a mirror and see.” HARSH.Via Getty Images
Eat as much as your friend is eating.Eat whatever is offered you, which includes taking seconds if offered.Take a bit of everything offered but make sure it's the smallest portion possible.Go hog wild and take the biggest plate possible to show your appreciation for the meal.
Seventeen says: "Take a little of everything, but imagine you are a frail 19th century beauty and eat like a bird.” HAAAAAA.Via Getty Images
Not taking care of their arms.Stooping their shoulders.Not always clasping their hands together.Not paying attention to their speech habits.
According to Seventeen, teen girls MUST consider the way they speak, because "You can’t expect to charm a royal ball or end up with Rex Harrison with sloppy speech habits.”Via Getty Images
A tote bag.A dainty pocketbook.A reasonably sized handbag that could easily fit a book.You shouldn't bring a bag — only a slim wallet.
Seventeen advises that "date bags should always be small and dainty; you wouldn’t want the boy you’re with to think there’s something in the depths that bites if disturbed.”Via Getty Images
"Be wary of blue shoes, unless they’re navy," warns Seventeen.Via Getty Images
A mini skirt.A pair of slacks.A pair of shorts.A pair of denim jeans.
While shorts may be appropriate in Bermuda, stresses Seventeen, "You would be wrong, wrong, wrong to wear them shopping in New York.”Via Getty Images
Enter head first, with your body following.Slide in sideways for optimal lady-like looks.Back into the car and then daintily swing your legs in.
"Do you get into cars head first?" asks Seventeen "You’ll look prettier if you slide in sideways.” Did you even know there was a right and a wrong way to do this? Same.
A hot bod.A pretty face.
Sorry, but your body matters more than your face, says Seventeen. "A pretty figure can do a great deal for a girl, even more than a pretty face.” MMKAY.Via Getty Images
3 glasses of milk.1 egg.3 small pats of butter.3 slices of bread.All of the above.None of the above.
The Seventeen diet includes all that stuff, as well as "6 ounces of meat, poultry, fish, or cheese" and also three vegetables. It does not include the super gross pork pie that's pictured here.Via Getty Images